Hello

[gmasusie]

Here, here, Diane. So well said.

[Alexis]

wonderfully written Diane thankyou. You are right about it being everywhere. In fact here in England there is a big beer advertising board up in the city with a beer pump with ACTUAL beer so you can just go get free drinks.....

I have noticed it so much more since im trying to stop. I feel a little different today, after last night and my 2 pints....maybe i feel i can do it?

I dont know. I have a meeting tonight, in a damn pub. So i will have to be strong. But i am taking your strength and words with me and will hope to make myself and you proud.

[DianeC]

Alexis, try (when you can) to avoid pubs and other places where alcohol is flowing. Start having the mindset that you can do anything for an hour, then six hours, then eight, then all day... one day. When a great challenge presents itself, take it hour by hour, not even day by day. In the meantime, try to love yourself. Think of how easy it is to forgive people we love. Use that forgiveness on you. Think of how easy it is to love those close to us. Use that love on you. You might think, 'I love and forgive because everyone deserves that.' Don't you deserve that from you? I used to beat myself up a lot and treat others better than I did myself until I realized that I am a person too! Why don't I use that love and affection on me!? 'You are a child of the universe', as one of my favorite pieces, 'Desiderata', states; 'you have a right to be here.' Use the affection you feel for your cat, your loved ones, nature and turn it inward to yourself. You are worthy of sobriety. You are worthy of quiet, peace and hope. For today, take care of you. That's all any of us have: today...

[R. Lee]

X, You keep going into the eye of the storm. You ask questions & get suggestions then do what you want. As alcoholics we all did what we wanted I was self serving, selfish, self righteous, almost anything with SELF in it. Life was all about me. With this kind of behavior my chances are less that average to stay sober.

[DianeC]

R. Lee, your words to Alexis are spot on. Alexis, R. Lee is wonderful at cutting to the chase. I hope you will listen to him. He knows of what he speaks.

[Sam Bailey]

Originally Posted by DianeC

I have come to a place in my life, Alexis, that I want to feel good physically, mentally and spiritually. I mentioned earlier that I'm not religious; however, I am very spiritual. Reasons many of us drink (I think) should be addressed and dealt with, and this can be done when we make our minds up to do it. That's where I got to be when I decided that I didn't want to drink alcohol anymore. I'd toyed with that idea a little while before I made the leap. I wanted to be sure, in my mind, that I was in fact abusing alcohol. I think in our society, in America and across the water, alcohol is advertised as nothing serious to add into one's life. In fact, it's advertised as a compliment to food, fun, and strife. For a long time, I looked around me and saw that alcohol was everywhere: i.e. in restaurants, at friends' houses and at social gatherings, etc. I rarely kept it in my home, but it wasn't hard to go pick up. I've never been an addictive-type person in my life with anything, so turning to alcohol so much started bothering me as time progressed. I started to feel that I was abusing alcohol, and I decided I was. It gets easier with time to not go there... when at one time I would have. Setting goals to not drink one day at a time has led (for me) to turning completely away. I want to face life now, in good and bad times, without altering myself in any way. It feels good to know that I have power to control things. That's inebriating in itself! Life has its challenges, for sure. Right now, I'm going through one. I want to take everything one step at a time. I have not been diagnosed with anything yet. I'm going to call the specialist this morning and make my appointment for further testing to see. In the meantime, I will stay in the present; I will make choices I'm proud of, and I'll abstain from alcohol to get through. Remember to think through choices. We DO have power, Alexis. Use yours. It can be done, and you can do it.

Hi Diane,

Good post, Diane. Lovely. Smart. Darned insightful.

To be the best person one can be, what a glorious goal!

I realized some time ago, just as I was exiting 20+ dark years of Active Addiction, that I would NEVER be the best "sam bailey" I could be WHILE still using drugs. Or drinking.

And the thought, which I have posted about several times, that one day I would wake up old and addled, run my arthritic fingers through my ever-thinning gray hair, and think, "damn! I never really, not really 'n truly, tried to be my best self," tormented me.

Be my Best Self! No matter what that means, success or struggle. No matter.

Like you Diane, I had used up (wasted?) a whole lotta years. More than you, I suspect. The ONLY way I could ever be my "best self," I believed, was to get rid of the one thing that was crippling me, that was keeping me stuck in time, mired in that awful place where I simply could not move forward---with no chance to become the person that God (cosmos, universe?) meant me to be.

Anyway. That's all. Good for you, Diane!

best,

sam b

[iamtrying]

DianeC you inspire me....great job staying away from urge...

Be strong, hope for the best, you are in my thoughts...

[R. Lee]

Diane, you are spot on!!

[Saint]

Diane,
Great post! Awesome attitude!

Saint

[Tryntryagain]

Good evening Diane. Bright blessings to you.

What a cracking post Diane.

As you have supported me so much lately you know i am trying to find the right way forward for me. Your beautiful post doesn't just give me enablement, but empowerment. I am so very grateful to have been able to read it. Thank you for giving it to us.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Diane

[DianeC]

Just dropping in to say all my medical tests turned out well, and I'm healthy and well. It's two months sobriety and I have no desire to consume alcohol. I look forward to the future!

[iamtrying]

Great news DianeC...Very happy for you...and congrats on 2 months...great going!!

Have a great day

[lostdog]

That is so nice to hear, I am so happy for you.

[gmasusie]

Diane, Good work! Keep it up. Glad for the good news.

[Catfish]

That's wonderful news Diane.

[Saint]

Congratulations Diane!! Keep up the good work!

Saint

[Millie]

Good job, Diane! And congrats on the good medical tests. I know how scary that can be.

[R. Lee]

Diane, Congratulation on 2 months sober. Glad your test turned out good.

[DianeC]

I thank each and every one of you who has posted well wishes to me on my journey. I reach out to everyone who has extended desires for me: for healing, for peace, for all that life has to offer. I am fortunate that I caught my abuse of alcohol before it got out of hand. I recognized that my ability to drink a bottle of wine by myself was not healthy. I turned to this web site for support. You, dear friends, have contributed to my healing. I cannot thank all of you enough... especially R. Lee. You, dear friend, taught me so much. I will forever be grateful...

[DianeC]

I am thinking tonight of my life's journey. Life's been involved lately as I work on my writing, my research, my travels and my work.... along with my personal life and the joy it brings me. I know that no one is perfect or has all the answers, and each human being knows great struggles as he or she passes along life's pathway. I also know that our walkway has a way of filtering out the BS if we are open to truth and light. I have talked to a counselor and have come away knowing I am not alcoholic; however, I have abused alcohol in my quest to ease pain from dysfunction from my past, my family and in scenarios surrounding me. I feel I have something to offer others as I reach for the light. Using something to ease the pain of living does not make us weak. It makes us human.

[gmasusie]

Well said.

[Catfish]

Wise words, Diane. xxxx

[DianeC]

My dear friends ... good wishes.... I do not believe (after so much thought, research, and willingness to face reality) that I am an alcoholic. I was ready to accept this, but through counseling over the last few weeks, I now realize alcohol is not my issue. I have issues born of family, trust, etc. This is my goodbye to everyone here. I will not post again. I came to feel a while back that I didn't fit the modus operandi of those who post here. I abused alcohol. I could, can and have given alcohol up with no problem... with absolutely no problem. My husband continues to save lives through his cardiologist work, and I continue to write songs for musical artists and write novels. I will always thank all of you for helping me in my time of need.

[Sam Bailey]

Hey Diane,

Well, good luck to you. I hope that you have found the reason, and the subsequent solution, to the desperation and misery you've been feeling.

See dear, it is NEVER about alcohol, nor about drugs. Booze and dope is never our problem. Never.

In fact, it is our solution. It helps to SOLVE the heartpain and misery we feel on a regular, often deadly basis. And God sakes, the booze/dope actually works. Until it stops working.

No, alcohol is likely not you problem. You, yep you---like the rest of us---you are your problem. Those issues you mentioned.

How will you solve that? But then, maybe you know. If so, that'd be freaking great. I hope you have.

Do remember one thing, an aphorism it is, direct from The Program. It is apt though, I believe.

It tell us: Alcoholism is the one disease that tells us we have NO disease.

If you discover that you DO have it, please come back.

Should you learn that you are not an alcoholic, then you have good news.
Go with God. and have a wonderful, fulfilling life, Diane.

FYI: I am an alcoholic and a drug addict and I found I could Produce/Direct Emmy Winning Network TV Shows as well as write and publish fiction even as I was recovering. I bet you could too.

Anyway.

best to you, Diane.

sam b

[lostdog]

Best wishes Diane, I will miss you. Stop by and say Hi, if you need anything, just let us know. I wish you the best and glad that you are feeling so well now. It's sad for me to see you go, but I am so happy for you and wish you the bestest of the best! I hope you will see this.

[gmasusie]

It should always be the goal of the teacher, the advocate, the counselor, etc., to reach the point where the patient/client no longer needs you. I am glad you have reached that point. I hope everyone here can at some point reach that point. I shall stay because I want to continue the friendships that I have developed here and the honesty I can share.

I have other interests, friends, activities, etc., but I find that this communication is in many ways more open than that of many of my friends' and associates'.

We have all gained something from your sharing with us, and for that I am grateful. Many folks just "disappear" without explanation, and we are left to conjecture their fates. Thank you for your consideration.

Auf wiedersehen. Susie

[Tryntryagain]

Good morning Diane. Bright blessings to you.

I respect what you have said although wishing you safe journey i shall carry you in my thoughts and wishes as i do everyone here.

I shall not be sad at your decision but celebrate your choice.

At least you know in your life that should the demon of alcohol become a problem to you as it is for so many of us here, you certainly know where to come.

Thank you for all you gave me, and us.

Be lucky and be good.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Diane

[Catfish]

Diane, I'd like to echo what everyone else has already said and also send you love and positivity for your journey. Xxxx

[Saint]

Diane,
Wishing you the best as you continue on your journey through life. You have touched and supported many here, I for one. Also, Thank you for the post informing us you are leaving. I appreciate your consideration of others, we won't be left wondering and worrying.

Peace,
Saint

[R. Lee]

Diane, I wish you the best. Feel welcome to come back if you choose.

[jenm]

I agree with everyone, Diane! We will miss you. Thank you so much for letting us know though. We do wonder when we do not hear from people. Jenm

[Tryntryagain]

Good afternoon Diane. Bright blessings to you.

I just want you know that i totally respect the fact you said "tara", (Blighty for cheerio).....and that we will all respect that and leave you to it.

Well i am rude to the core, totally disrespectful, and that being the magnificent case, you may not be alcoholic, but wisdom is universal. (Apart from mine).

Hopefully by now you have sensed the reverence i hold your choice?

Please dont go?

Keep us updated. We care about lives and those that try to live them. We are not just alcoholics.

Please keep in touch.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Diane.