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Unread 02-02-2015, 03:10 PM   #1
ellocin
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Question so lost again

Hello. I don't know where to start. I guess I'm a recovering meth addict. I had been sober (besides alcohol) for 9 years up until about 3 weeks ago. The guy I'm seeing smokes crack. I knew about this and thought I could handle it. I pushed so hard for him to give a relationship a shot I guess I didn't want to start telling him what to do. Everything else about him is perfect, but this isn't about him. I got high with him one night and I didn't think about it again for a week or so. I figured if he can do it recreationaly I should be able to too. So I kept getting high, always with him. He likes to be alone when he smokes and I guess that hurt my ego. I got angry every time he was doing it because I couldn't have some. I then started smoking on my own. Now I can't stop. I am spending all my money, treating my boyfriend like shit, going into work late, and even smoking in the bathroom at work. I don't want to go down the path I worked so hard to stay off of. I'm a mess. I don't know what to do. I hate that he can do it once or twice a month with no consequences at all. I get so upset that I start craving it, getting shakey, with sweaty palms and I break down and buy some. I got high last night even after he asked me not to. I went out on my own. I don't know what to do.I was so good for 9 years. Now it's all slipping away before my eyes. Any advice would be very appreciated. Thank you.
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Unread 02-02-2015, 03:55 PM   #2
NancyB
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Hi ellocin, welcome. When you stopped 9 years, how did you do it? Is it something you can do again this time? I really hate to say it, but you might need to take a break from you boyfriend. I think with him still smoking and you trying to stop, it will make it so much harder for you.

Or maybe talk with him and see if he will stop also and you can support each other?

Do you have any support you can lean on while stopping? There are Cocaine Anonymous meetings, you could check and see if there's one in your area:
http://www.ca.org/

I hope this is helpful. Let us know.

Nancy
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Unread 02-03-2015, 02:17 PM   #3
Nicole0909
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Wish you the best of luck you can do it if you put your mind to it keep your head up
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Unread 02-06-2015, 07:43 AM   #4
cosmicmessenger
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Hi Ellocin.
As tough as this may sound, you may be best without your new friend.
He is enabling you to do what you worked so hard on to rid yourself of.
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Unread 03-21-2015, 07:17 AM   #5
Perkinstein
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Unread 03-21-2015, 07:19 AM   #6
Perkinstein
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Hi ellociN, i think you need help. try to open this up to your family, friends or love ones i'm sure they will understand you.
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