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Unread 02-24-2009, 08:22 PM   #1
Dopeless Hope Fiend
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Default Introducing....me

Hi, my name is Dopeless Hope Fiend and I am a grateful recovering addict! Sound like a meeting greeting? It is...I've been temporarily disconnected from my regular meeting attendance. I'm not willing to forgo my recovery entirely...this forum is a nice supplement to working the steps and going to meetings. I learned about Addiction Survivors when I went for a meeting...and found out it had been cancelled-forever. OUCH!

Anyway, long story short, ...I'm coming up on 7 years clean! I can't believe it! Life today allows me to clearly see the paradox of my recovery. I got the hell away from the evil grip of my addiction (crystal meth) yet I still need to remember where I've been, so as not to go back there. "Playing my tape" is part of my clean life. Sometimes, I'm full of...sayings. If you always do what you always did, then you'll always get what you always got. I got clean listening to great wisdom from people with a little clean time and a lot of clean time.

Sharing experience, strength and hope is valuable stuff. I'm here to share what I can and learn from others, too. Like they say, "I can't, but we can." I plan on being around if anyone wants to discuss anything. I really look forward to hearing from others who can relate to me.

-DHF
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Unread 08-23-2009, 11:57 PM   #2
Dot72
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Default Dot 72

I wat to take sometime to thank you forshae yor story. I am having a hard to share admost of my family parties. Als, I lost all my drug buddies. I had love t here back from you. I wah to get toknow you.
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Unread 09-28-2009, 03:18 PM   #3
Dopeless Hope Fiend
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Hi Dot72,

Sorry this reply is so overdue...I'm glad you're here and would love to get to know you better, too.

I've read your posts and feel you struggling. Early recovery is tough stuff. Be kind to yourself, if you're anything like me, you're probably your own worst enemy.

I, too, have attention disorder, but not the hyperactivity. If anything, lately I've been a slug...having to push myself to do everything, including eating. Lost a few more pounds, again.

I am very disordered...ADD, BPD (borderline personality), depression, anxiety, panic, and most recently diagnosed with agoraphobia (fear of public places). On top of that I have a heart condition, SVT (supra ventricular tachycardia) which basically makes my heart race like I'm tweaking. Oh, yeah, high blood pressure, too. Sheesh!! Sometimes I wonder if many years of meth use has conditioned my heart to stay in race-mode. No doctor has been able to confirm or deny that...they just don't know.

I know what you mean when you say you want to be totally sober (or clean)...no meds. I feel that way, too. However, I've accepted, albeit reluctantly, that I must take medication for my anxiety/panic, HBP, and SVT...without those I might be dead. My ADD is untreated, I'm considering going back on Zoloft for the depression...dunno. I'd rather live like this than be using or dead.

Anyway, I know that this site is a good place for support, or just to vent anonymously. I've checked out other sites and have found this one to be the most supportive, and in my opinion, soothing. Some of the other ones have been full of drama and heated debate...I'm not into that. I'm one who definitely needs to vent, but I like to offer heartfelt support to anyone who needs it. It makes me feel just a little bit better...which is what we're all doing when we stay off the illegal stuff...get better. It takes time, definitely patience and support.

I'm here to support you and everybody...keep comin' back!

-DHF
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Unread 09-05-2011, 01:56 AM   #4
Georgia Mom
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Post moved to new thread:

http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=26704
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Unread 12-27-2011, 12:12 PM   #5
dean40
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Post moved to new thread:
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=27178
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Unread 12-28-2011, 12:49 AM   #6
CarlyO
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Hi dean40 ! I posted a welcome and /Info to you on the new thread !
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