new here

[jshdvs]

Just was courious what people had to say over here. Im on sub tratment and has worked wonders. I just really wish i could stop taking anything but my body is taking a little longer than what i would like. Beats using though. I had troubles in the past with using crack, cocaine along with herion and pills. Matter fact i would do them all at once. I sold cocaine so it was at my disposal. What ever when ever. Sometimes i would go days without any sleep. Looking back now i wonder how in the hell i would function infront of people high when now being sober you would think i would feel great. Yes i feel better being clean but as far as the whole social skill thing i really feel like im starting from scratch again. I always get nervous going out or being around people. It really frustrates me bc i want to accomplish things and i feel that my fears are holding me back. I know my brain is repaining itself. I just really cant believe how much damage i did and i wonder when i will get back to normal. i have been clean for one and half years with coke and crack and comming up on one with the opiates. At the point in my life where i feel guilty for what i did evn though i should be proud of where im at. I really think smoking crack really messes with your whole inner being and i pray i can get it back.

[Dopeless Hope Fiend]

Hi jshdvs,

I can really relate to what you said here:

"Yes i feel better being clean but as far as the whole social skill thing i really feel like im starting from scratch again. I always get nervous going out or being around people. It really frustrates me bc i want to accomplish things and i feel that my fears are holding me back. I know my brain is repaining itself. I just really cant believe how much damage i did and i wonder when i will get back to normal."

Me too...

I don't know if I will ever get back to normal. I don't know if I even know what normal is. As for myself, I don't know anything about everything. I'm just living one day at a time, trying to remind myself to live in the moment.

The past is gone, but it is what made me who I am today. Today I'm clean. I'm not really thinking about tomorrow, because if I do that, then I'm not living in the moment that I have right now.

Which, when it's gone, I won't be getting back.

Sorry if this doesn't help you any...it was intended to.

Have an awesome dopeless day,

-DHF

[jshdvs]

Thanks for the response. I think we will get better overtime we just did a lot of damage to reverse normal feelings. We are making the right choices now and god will reward us for that. Its easy to get high and escape will always have that feeling knocking at the door but just keep praying and doing the right thing and things will get easier. Be proud of yourself and keep up the good work.