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Unread 01-18-2017, 03:20 PM   #1951
Alexis
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Hey Millie how are things? x
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Unread 01-19-2017, 02:44 PM   #1952
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Hi everyone. Sorry for being MIA for a few days. I felt it necessary for my mental health to avoid the Internet. I think it helped, and I'm gradually letting myself back in (having unfollowed some news sites on Facebook, and a few friends who can't stop talking about all of the political stuff).

Nancy, that is a very good question. And it's been why I've been applying pretty exclusively for lab tech jobs for the past few months. Trying to get into a business via a different channel is actually what I was trying to do when I got into the job I have now. And unfortunately, I'm really good at administrative and clerical stuff (though it bores me to tears), and I seem to keep making myself indispensable in that role. So I was trying something completely different.

There's not really much, business-wise, that I'm that interested in. Truth be told, if I could do anything, I'd be a wildlife rehabber. Hence my interest in volunteering at that place a zillion miles from home. But there are practical things like mortgages and eating and whatnot... so I think I can actually happily settle for editing work, as long as I'm not also having to assist someone. I'm sick to death of being in a secretarial role, in any capacity. It hurts my soul to know that I could have done more, and should have accomplished more, and all of those things that we shouldn't say to ourselves. But it's there.

And I know there's still time. Read a thing this morning where Ray Bradbury said he didn't start getting anything published till his late 40s. So I haven't lost all hope yet. I just need to find a way to make a change very soon.

But wow is it hard to shake this blue feeling. I have never looked forward to summer more in my entire life. Not even senior year of high school, and that's saying a lot!
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Unread 01-19-2017, 04:47 PM   #1953
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Sometimes we definitely need to stay away from the internet and all its overwhelming information.

(wish we could be friends on facebook)

please DONT give up hope, you will make it in the end i know it. In fact youre already there actually, you are kind and gentle and talented and that makes sense. Keep moving forward and things will slot into place im sure of it.

Would you ever move house? for work?

Summer hmmmm, whats that?! its been winter for years here haha what will you be doing this summer? Cabin? running in the warmth? BBQs?

I just look forward to sitting in the garden, meditating outside with the sun on my back will be lovely. Oh the daffodil bulbs i planted have sprung up and will be flowering in a few weeks. The first time ive planted bulbs so im very excited to see the shoots!!

Are you reading anything at the moment?

Love you xx
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Unread 01-19-2017, 04:56 PM   #1954
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Hey Millie!

Sorry to hear that you've been so blue recently. Seems like you're headed out of it, though. At least you can see the "Exit" sign, far better than being lost in the total dark.

As we both know, that sometimes happens. Do not allow it to happen to you.

Ok, now:

Re Ray Bradbury's late start in being published, check THIS one out. Back in the early/mid 1980s, a woman named Harriet Doerr published her first novel. This after never having a word published previously. This after being alive for 74 years.

Yep, not only did Harriet Doerr get her first novel published at age 74, the novel, "Stones for Ibarra," was nominated for a whole buncha writing awards, and won a few, including the 1984 National Book Award for First Work of Fiction. A National Book Award. Dude!

Although I had to look up the various dates, publishing year, the National Book Award, etc., I clearly recall all the "noise" this woman made with her book. Lots of hoopla, lots of press. Oh, and it was made into a movie, too.

My point being?

While this woman's story is an uncommon one, this is true---it ain't a miracle. And (cliché apology) if she can do it, well so can...lots of other folks. Yes, Millie included. Seventy-freaking-four years old, a first time writer!

On another topic, let me not blather on 'n on about it. Lemme just say, the "it" this time being yet another death of one of my dearest friends. "Andy" was one of the Best Men in my wedding, way back in the early 70s---an Usher I think they're called.

In any case, Andy and I grew up together in our small town near Bakersfield. Like all our friends, I could spin endless tales of our adventures...and each would likely sound dull, or at least plain. Some were; many were not. He was my dear friend and I loved him deeply.

He died 2 years ago. Two years! And I had no idea. That makes me so sad, that I lived two years without knowing that Andy was gone.

I get it, though. I do. We change. We grow. We move on; we move away. We live until one day we don't.

Now that I don't get, the mortality thing. What, for God's sake, is the point?

Yeah. It is what it is, I know this. Still sucks, though.

You guys, here? You would have liked Andy. Really, you would have. I wish you would have had the chance.

Anyway.

Keep writing, Millie. Harriet did it. So can you.

sam
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Unread 01-19-2017, 05:10 PM   #1955
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Hi Millie, unfollowing those pages/friends is a great idea. Hopefully it will help even more as time goes on. I know people say 'just don't read it', but sometimes that's not so easy when it's right there and visible.

I'm glad you haven't lost all hope. Have you thought about finding a wildlife rehabber near you to see if you could volunteer with him/her?
http://wdfw.wa.gov/conservation/heal...w_to_find.html

Have you looked into the Audubon Society? A friend of mine worked at one and they took in more than birds.

I really hope that the editing works out for you. And yes, summer can't come quick enough. I'll even take an early spring...

Sending hugs.

Nancy
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Unread 01-19-2017, 05:57 PM   #1956
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Thanks you guys. You're just the best.

Alexis, yes, all I want is some sun. And no, I don't think I could move, or would want to. There isn't really a shortage of work here, it's just that the job market is really competitive and I don't have much of an edge.

Nancy, I'll look into those, thank you. The one I found that was hiring (mostly volunteers) was a long drive -- too far for a daily commute. But I'll check out Audubon too.

I do hope I can see the Exit sign (from blueness/depression, that is). I saw a sad headline in a place that usually has just fluff news, and it had a picture, and all of a sudden I'm back into the realm of people are horrible and why do I bother? I keep telling myself that it's okay to feel all this, and I can't help that dog, and I can't bear the burden of the world's sh#tty humanity just because I am one. It just gets so overwhelming.

And Sam, of course I'll keep writing. A new contest is starting this Friday, in fact.

Thanks for listening, friends.
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Unread 01-19-2017, 06:10 PM   #1957
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You dont have much of an edge?? Maybe its just me but i think you are one of the most talented, kindest, funniest, smartest people i know. Your uniqueness is your edge...your work rate is your edge, your commitment and passion is your edge. Believe in yourself, like we all believe in you.


Sorry you saw a nasty image. I know how much it can throw you back into the deep end. Give little Millie extra cuddles and know how much you do to make her life happy.

You are enough, we love you, keep moving towards EXIT xx
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Unread 01-19-2017, 06:31 PM   #1958
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That's kind of you, Alexis. I do think that if I could get in for an interview I'd be able to sell myself with some of the things you say. Unfortunately people don't tend to read cover letters, no matter how impassioned, and I just don't have the right experience on my resume to get a foot in the door. I wasn't really being self-deprecating, just realistic. We'll see what happens with tomorrow's phone interview. I'm the tiniest bit hopeful, but also know it's very possible they'll just say I need more experience before they can send anything my way. Which is a Catch-22 of sorts, isn't it?

And you bet I'm going to give Millie all the extra snuggles in the world.
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Unread 01-19-2017, 06:52 PM   #1959
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Yes catch 22 definitely. When i was uni i couldnt get bar work because i hadnt done it before, but without doing it, i couldnt get experience of doing it....catch 22 indeed.

This is just more important and ill be thinking of you all day and willing it to go well.

xx
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Unread 01-20-2017, 11:53 AM   #1960
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I hope today/your morning (?) has started well for you. I hope so have a little sun and you feel better than yesterday xx
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Unread 01-20-2017, 08:02 PM   #1961
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sometimes, the blues get in and stay that color for a while. But, they will go away, lots of vitamin D and exercise and notes that say we adore you.
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Unread 01-20-2017, 11:00 PM   #1962
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Hi Millie, how did the phone interview go?

Thinking of you.

(((hugs)))

Nancy
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Unread 01-21-2017, 10:26 AM   #1963
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Good afternoon my dearest Millie. Bright blessings to you.

Hmmmmm....

"Unfortunately people don't tend to read cover letters, no matter how impassioned, and I just don't have the right experience on my resume to get a foot in the door. I wasn't really being self-deprecating, just realistic."

I truly do understand the "juggling"....the "spinning of plates"...as life marches on. I understand that if any of us get lucky, and start getting older, so we REALLY feel the forces of change within us, that we had been striving for through our younger decades.

After all the looking, after all the hard work.....one thinks...."oh **** it".......i give up. The criteria, the hoops....i'm fed up of it. One becomes quite disheartened knowing how much they have to give...and it...just...isn't....clicking. Luck is not holding your hand right now.

(Lady luck is holding my hand at the mo.....i promise you.....she will be there shortly).

So, did lady luck turn up with your phone interview?

Dear ole Rolo says "woof" to Millie.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you my dearest Millie.
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Unread 01-21-2017, 10:27 PM   #1964
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Hi everybody. Thank you.

The phone interview was neither here nor there. My relevant experience in the corporate world is very old. But we'll see. I'll contact a couple of other agencies too.

Today though, I decided to do the Women's March in Seattle. They estimated that 30 to 50,000 people would come. It's being reported that there were up to 130,000. It was a 3.6-mile route, and people reached the end before the last people left the start. How cool is that?!

It was such a beautiful thing. Going was a last minute decision. I was thinking, it's not going to change anything, I don't like crowds, it doesn't make a difference... but I started to feel guilty this morning like I was shirking my civic duty. I didn't realize why until I was out there. Sometimes it is necessary, not for you personally to feel better, but just for the good of the cause and all of its facets, to simply be a part of something bigger than yourself. (The feeling a bit better was a nice side-effect.)
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Unread 01-21-2017, 10:28 PM   #1965
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And Tryn, Millie says woof right back. . She's quite satisfied as she's just had a walk and a peanut butter treat.
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Unread 01-22-2017, 07:29 AM   #1966
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Hi Millie, the interview may help by just doing it, having an idea of questions that might be asked and when other interviews come up, you could have an idea of how to tailor your answer to get the results you want.

I'm glad you went to the march and got something out good out of it for you and you never know who else it may have helped by adding the number in the crowd.

Hugs across the country,

Nancy
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Unread 01-22-2017, 08:53 AM   #1967
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Proud of you Millie. We need all the help we can get right now. The scenes looked incredible over there. Brought a tear to my eyes.

Love you and good luck with your next interviews, you will do so well i know it xx
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Unread 01-22-2017, 12:00 PM   #1968
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Hi Millie, proud you went, it was so big here too, so big. Take care and glad you went with the phone interview, best wishes on the career search for you.
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Unread 01-22-2017, 01:39 PM   #1969
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Good for you Millie on the march. I have a daughter who drove to D.C. from Michigan for the woman's march. Our political ideals are opposite but support all my children,s enthusiasm. It gets us out of ourselves.

Last edited by R. Lee; 01-22-2017 at 01:45 PM..
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Unread 01-22-2017, 01:41 PM   #1970
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How are you today Millie? xx
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Unread 01-24-2017, 01:13 PM   #1971
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Hey Millie, i thought of you before my presentation. It helped me get up there. Thank you.

x
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Unread 01-24-2017, 04:44 PM   #1972
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Alexis, that might be one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. *snif* (I have something in my eye, hang on.....)

Thank you for asking, and thanks everyone for the support. I think the march gave me a little hope. Just a teensy teensy bit.

Went to see Herb Alpert and his wife Lani Hall perform last night. That was really fun. He played some of the music I play regularly, and it was fun to see it done by the original artist! It was a pretty swanky venue, so I got to dress up, and that was fun. I had some orange mint tea, and at the end of the night, we passed through the lounge outside the main stage, and it was so loud, and people were so amped up and sloppy -- not even drunk drunk, just noticeably altered -- I was so very very thankful to know that I was going to sleep well and wake up without a headache.
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Unread 01-24-2017, 07:26 PM   #1973
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Its true though Millie, you helped me do it, thank you *something in my eye too!* haha

You are doing so good im so proud of you always! Love and peace xxx
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Unread 01-24-2017, 08:56 PM   #1974
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I listen to Herb Alpert and it brings some good little girl memories, before things got bad. I wish I could attend your concerts... That would be so nice. I'm glad you are doing well today and have a nice day tomorrow.
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Unread 01-25-2017, 03:42 PM   #1975
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I recon its mid afternoon where you are?? Are you at work? If so hope its not too boring xx
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Unread 01-25-2017, 06:22 PM   #1976
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Hey Alexis! I am at work, yes... I've applied for three jobs in two days, and today revamped my resume and cover letter. We'll see if I get any bites.

The gig last night was so long, but sort of fun. Again, I couldn't help but appreciate the fact that I was sober. I'm not judgmental -- heaven knows I'm the last one who should be throwing stones -- but I felt sympathy for the folks who were overdoing it. Nobody does that because they're happy. They were smiling and dancing and loving the music, but that was just in the moment. Today not only are they back to feeling whatever it is they were trying to escape, but with the added headache and nausea.

To our disappointment, Herb Alpert himself did not come out and tell us how great we were. (To be honest, I'm happy to have just not receive a cease and desist order...) Three sets makes for a long night, but again it was fun, and I got to bring my tuba out for one song. We don't have any gigs again for a while, so I guess I have no excuse to not paint.

Oh, and I changed my password for Facebook to a random series of numbers and letters, which I wrote down and tucked away, to keep myself from looking. I just can't deal with the constant barrage of horrible news.
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Unread 01-25-2017, 06:29 PM   #1977
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Ill cross my fingers for you Millie

the gig sounds great! Im so in awe of your talents you know?

Good job on Facebook, i think id shut mine down too if it wasnt for my company being on there and needing to use it for that.

xx
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Unread 01-25-2017, 06:33 PM   #1978
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Aw, thanks.

My band is on there too, but there's nothing to post for a week or two, at least, and I do still get notifications, so I can go in if necessary. I will miss seeing my friends' silly posts, but the only thing I really really require every day is Harlow and Indiana and Reese, because they make my heart smile. Thankfully they have an Instagram.

https://www.instagram.com/harlowandsage/?hl=en
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Unread 01-25-2017, 06:41 PM   #1979
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oh. my. god....they are adorable!! Just followed them!! Aghhhh i love them!! x
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Unread 01-29-2017, 03:13 PM   #1980
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Good morning.

At the cabin today. Arrived yesterday after not being here for a month. Turned the water on and discovered a pipe had burst. Temperatures have been in the teens here until a week ago, and this pipe just went. I am SO thankful we turned off the water at the meter when we left last time, or we really would have had a disaster. The folks at the store in town told us about a guy who does plumbing, so we roughed it overnight with no running water, and he came by this morning. Pretty easy fix, and we're back in business.

It's so lovely here. The sun is shining and there's still snow on the ground from the 18 inches we got around Christmas. So peaceful though, and I can hear my ravens echoing through the woods.

Turned in a short story to a contest yesterday too. It's not very good and I don't expect to make it to round 2, but at least I did it.
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Unread 01-29-2017, 03:43 PM   #1981
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Hey Millie, not morning here, 7.40pm! Just hanging around waiting for my train.

Sounds beautiful and peaceful. wish i was there.

Glad you got the water all fixed up and you can now relax.

Good job on the writing, i bet its better than you imagine

Love to you xx
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Unread 01-29-2017, 04:43 PM   #1982
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Hey Millie,

Good for you guys that you went to the effort of turning off your water at the meter. SO often, people (I certainly) have the tendency to say, "ah, it ain't gonna happen." Meaning that the pipe WON'T burst...or the candle WON'T blow over and catch something on fire...or the leaky roof WON'T collapse come next rainstorm.

Of course, it usually DOESN'T happen. Most often, we return home and the candle didn't blow over, nor did the pipe burst.

Yet, as in your case, the pipe DID burst. Boy, are you right. You guys definitely saved yourselves from a whole lotta grief.

Not to go on too much about this, but it strikes a nerve, since I too damn often DON'T make that extra effort, especially if the odds are really low.

Thanks Millie, a good lesson your story is for me.

And your Short Story? No matter the results, over which you have NO control, you DID write it, didn't you? You bet. "A writer writes..." And you wrote. Super!

sam
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Unread 01-29-2017, 07:53 PM   #1983
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Good deal Millie. Have a relaxing time. I went to a mindfulness group with a friend of mine. It was so peaceful like your cabin that I see when you write. I'm glad the water leak wasn't real bad. I could tell many stories on frozen pipes, no electricity etc. Even a small book....take care outta town for a while.
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Unread 01-30-2017, 02:21 PM   #1984
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Hey Millie, how are you today? You still at the cabin? x
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Unread 02-01-2017, 03:12 PM   #1985
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Miss you xx
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Unread 02-01-2017, 05:24 PM   #1986
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Millie sorry about the pipes. Yes you have to drain them when ever it gets below 29 degrees for 2 days or longer. Have a good time while there in paradise.
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Unread 02-01-2017, 05:44 PM   #1987
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Hey there guys. Thanks for asking about me, Alexis.

R.Lee, yeah... it was between 10 and 25 degrees for weeks. As it was an incoming line to the water heater, I'm not sure how we could have drained it... maybe turned on the hot water for a few minutes after turning off the main water valve? At any rate, that pipe is now insulated, so crossing fingers it doesn't happen again. It's warmer there now, but that doesn't mean it's going to stay that way.

Been home from the cabin since Monday night, but it's tax time and billing time at work so I've been super super busy.

And last night I wanted to miss all the political stuff, so I went to see Hidden Figures. What a wonderful movie. Saw Manchester By the Sea the other night too, and I thought it stunk!

Anyway, hope everyone's having a good week. Especially thinking about Tryn and sending lots of good vibes across the globe.
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Unread 02-01-2017, 06:15 PM   #1988
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Glad the pipes are hopefully sorted but not so good about tax time!!

I want to go to the cinema, maybe next week sometime. There are a few things i want to see...! Maybe a double film day out!

Glad you are back around xx
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Unread 02-02-2017, 01:37 PM   #1989
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So, having banished myself from Facebook, and knowing there's the possibility that I may change jobs soon, over the past two days I actually got pretty much ALL of my work done at work. I have had this job for several years and streamlined most of the processes, and a few doctors have moved on or retired, and so there's actually very little work to do. I tend to put things off so there's always something in the pipeline. Well, now it's nearly all done, save for a few stragglers. So I'll be able to do some archiving, and maybe write some instructions in case they want to replace me. Being productive actually felt good.

I have a phone interview in about half an hour for a job that I applied for that I don't really want. It sounds terminally boring, but it's one-year temporary, and it's actively writing and editing (technical boring product stuff for a technical, boring company). So I'm not terribly nervous, since I applied for many other jobs I'm more excited about... but haven't heard from. Anyway, so that's happening.

Otherwise, it's a lovely, cold, sunny day. I have been feeling so down that I haven't even been cooking, and I love to cook. Last night though, after my productive day, I made yummy stuffed pasta shells. That was when I really realized how little I've been making food.

And I had a dream about the Unpresident and his wife being in my bathroom with me, while I clipped my toenails. I think that was my brain telling me I need to find a way to get him out of my inner workings. I have to find a way -- somehow -- to stop this from bringing me down. I just don't know what that somehow is.

Anyway. I hope everyone is having a good day. Still thinking of dear Tryn especially.
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Unread 02-02-2017, 02:20 PM   #1990
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Well that was a fast interview! They loved my experience, and then told me what the job paid, and I said I couldn't do that. The gal really liked me though and said she'd talk to HR about my requirements and get back to me. I think I might have to hold my ground though and still say no even if they can do the salary I want. I just *know* that if I accept something like this, the first bite I get, I'll get a call from a job I really want. After the fact.
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Unread 02-02-2017, 03:26 PM   #1991
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Hey Millie! Great job on having such a productive day and actually cooking something yummy. Can you get back into cooking by doing it at weekends maybe? Nice long afternoons prepping food

Sorry you're feeling down over that bastard though. I think we all feel helpless but we shouldn't let him win by making us miserable.

Have you been running much?

Congrats on the interview I knew they would love you, who wouldn't ?! But I agree with you and think you should hold out until something comes along which you will love. You need that. The only other thing to say is, if this job is in editing (however boring it may be) it could be a decent step for more experience? But yes hold out if you can

You're doing great Millie and we cherish you here xx
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Unread 02-02-2017, 06:25 PM   #1992
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Hey Millie!

For what it's worth, re that job offer (that you don't actually want)? Turn it down. I mean, you probably ought to pass on it.

See, thing is, if you do take it, being the kind of person I believe you are, you're going to bust ass on it. Try your best, be extremely thorough, that kind of thing. Which is, btw, totally good and right.

However, you are 100% correct about that other matter, something else might come along. Likely will come along. And where you are NOW, as boring as it may be, you have, so it appears, an incredible amount of freedom. Freedom to, mostly, look for other work.

And with that new job, any new job, you simply WON'T have the time (the freedom) to search for something that actually sets you on fire. People (your new work environment) will be, naturally, watching you. And you need to perform, which is, again, the right thing---and you'll do it. Impressively, I'm sure.

So. In a way, this job, for now anyway, is such a gift. Not much dough, okay---but, as noted, TIME. And you have lots of it!

Use this time to your benefit, which (duh!) I believe you will.

**Edit: On that other hand...if this job's new offer is, like, really good, ignore everything I just said. Ha!

sam
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Unread 02-02-2017, 09:47 PM   #1993
lostdog
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Things will come along for you. Any employer would be so happy to have you! Pick and choose on your terms. As for the current president, don't worry it will work out. Your kindness put you way above and you will find away around the obstacle. Take care and hugs!
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Unread 02-03-2017, 06:31 AM   #1994
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Hi Millie, any more on that job interview, did they come up and match your salary requirements? One thing to think about, like Alexis mentioned, if you do think this job will give you the experience to get something more that you'd like, it might not be a bad thing to take it. AND since it is a temp job, if another one comes along that you like better while you're there, take it. Especially since the boring tech editing job is only temporary. That's my thought anyways.

Hope you can have a good weekend doing something fun for yourself.

Hugs!

Nancy
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Unread 02-05-2017, 03:04 PM   #1995
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How are you Millie, how has your weekend been? xx
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Unread 02-05-2017, 04:18 PM   #1996
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Hi Millie, hope it's nice weather where you are? How is your day and weekend going?
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Unread 02-07-2017, 10:39 AM   #1997
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Hey Millie how are you? Any news on the job? xx
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Unread 02-07-2017, 02:46 PM   #1998
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Hi Millie, checking in to see how you did with that snow storm. Hope you're ok and you didn't lose electricity and you're all dug out.

(((hugs)))

Nancy
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Unread 02-08-2017, 01:50 PM   #1999
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Howdy! Boy did we have snow. It's funny though. I live on a hill, and we got about 6-7 inches. Everywhere else in the city barely got one or two. It was so very pretty. It's nearly gone everywhere but in my neighborhood now, and the streets are clear, so I have no excuse to stay home from work.

Sorry to have been somewhat absent lately. I've been trying to stay away from the internet, to preserve my sanity. I know that if I get on to come here, I'll look at Facebook or the news, because I can't help myself. I think things will balance out though. I'll try to come 'round more.

And Nancy, thank you for asking about the job. I didn't hear from them again, so I'm assuming they couldn't meet my salary requirements (and my requirement was actually really the bare minimum I'd take for the kind of work they required). Which is fine. Like Sam pointed out, I do have the luxury of time, and should remember that. So I'm still looking.

Hope everyone is well. I'm desperately looking forward to summer. But, still, got to wake up today after a cozy night of sleep, got to have a nice cup of tea, got to pet all my critters, and my dear husband gave me a kiss on the head to wake me up. All of that is worth being so grateful for.
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Unread 02-08-2017, 02:01 PM   #2000
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Oh Millie i must say i envy the way you wake up, cup of tea, animals and husband. I feel quite lonely. Steves never around anymore....blah blah blah....

Wow snow, we didnt really get any this year. A little bit but nothing to shout about. Its not just freezing cold but boring cloudy. Although yesterday was a lovely day and it made me so much happier being sunny!

Hope you are around more, i really miss you when you dont write xxx
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