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Unread 01-05-2014, 09:23 PM   #51
Saint
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Some of my best runs are the ones I have to push myself out the door.

Keep working it Michael. You're worth it!!

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Unread 01-06-2014, 02:01 PM   #52
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Thank you Saint!

Yesterday was kinda tough for me. About halfway through my shift at work, one of my friends/co-workers told me he was going to be drinking that night, and then invited me to join along. I quickly declined, and told him that I don't drink, but that didn't stop the cravings from hitting. From that point on, and through the rest of the night I wanted to drink so bad. I ended up eating a bunch of junk food throughout my shift, and when I got home, in response to the cravings. That was a bad idea!
I woke up this morning even more unmotivated than the other morning, as my body was still trying to digest the thousands of empty calories I had put into it the night before.
And of course, today was a workout day, so I had to push myself through it, almost giving up halfway. By the end of the workout I was sick at my stomach and almost throwing up.
I am proud of myself for refusing the offer to drink, but I do need to find a better way to deal with my cravings. Junk food is just not going to cut it.
Hope everyone is doing well! Blessings!

Michael
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Unread 01-06-2014, 06:06 PM   #53
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Michael, You thought that 1st drink. These cravings will decrease in time.
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Unread 01-06-2014, 08:46 PM   #54
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Michael,
Do what it takes to get through the cravings. Don't worry about the junk food right now. I drank diet coke by the boat load when I first stopped drinking. As Lee says the cravings decrease in intensity over time. Keep doing what you're doing Michael. People, places and things...can all be triggers.

Hang in there,
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Unread 01-07-2014, 07:26 PM   #55
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Hi Michael,

Nice going thinking through the drink and you are going through the stage that I was in with the time you have. For me it was 4 months. That's when the urge started leaving me, and the same could happen to you as long as you just get through a little more time no matter what. That's the secret! Hang in and you will thank yourself later.

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Unread 01-08-2014, 03:38 PM   #56
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Michael,

How are you today? Please know that we all had those urges when we first got sober. They can be intense initially but do diminish in intensity the longer one is sober. It does not mean you are weak. For me acknowledging the cravings as part of the process of getting sober helped me over that particular hurdle. Keep excercising, it helps us physically and emotionally.

Thinking of you,
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Unread 01-08-2014, 09:00 PM   #57
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Thank you everyone!

Saint, I am doing much better today. I am feeling much better, and worked out again today. I have had no cravings since the other night, and everything is going well. Thanks for checking on me!

Michael
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Unread 01-08-2014, 09:05 PM   #58
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Glad to hear things are better Michael.

Peace,
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Unread 01-09-2014, 11:52 AM   #59
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Michael, Cravings can be caused by people places & things. You thought through that 1st drink.
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Unread 01-10-2014, 12:51 PM   #60
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Thanks Saint and R.Lee!

I'm feeling so good today! I woke up this morning and looked in the mirror, and just stared for a minute. The person looking back at me was not the person that I am used to seeing. Now that I have stayed sober, started exercising, and am eating right, I am starting to look so much better. My body figure has shrunk, my eyes have more life in them, and my skin is more clear and has a glow to it. I am so ecstatic!
So, on a side note, I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was a kid, and as I have grown older, I still have issues focusing sometimes. So I was doing a little research the other day, and found that people with ADD or ADHD are much more likely to become alcoholics or drug addicts due to the blockage of dopamine pathways in the brain. I was also reading that a vitamin supplement of Ginseng, can help to open those pathways and balance the rewards center of the brain in ADHD and ADD patients. I am already an avid vitamin consumer, so I just ordered some Ginseng and am going to add it to my daily supplements.
I thought this was interesting, and figured I would share in case there are any other people on here who struggle with ADD or ADHD symptoms.
Hope everyone is having a great day! Blessings!

Michael
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Unread 01-10-2014, 02:05 PM   #61
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Michael, You were killing yourself with alcohol.

Now your body is on the mend. This is just one of the benefits of not drinking alcohol.

Keep up the great work.
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Unread 01-15-2014, 02:26 PM   #62
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Hello all.
I just received news of my Grandma's deteriorating health. Her liver is at 30%, and they have given her 1-7 days to live. My Grandma means so much to me, as she was there for me through some really tough times, and even helped raise me while my Dad was in prison.
I will be flying out Friday to Kansas to try and make it to her before she passes. If she passes before Friday, I will be flying down to Texas for her funeral. My Father will most likely be drinking more than usual to deal with the stress, and depending on which family members show up, tensions could get high. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I deal with life on life's terms, sober. Blessings.

Michael
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Unread 01-15-2014, 02:40 PM   #63
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Michael, Sorry for your grandmother's health. Show her what a sober Michael is & she can pass on knowing your are in good hands.
Think through every feeling & emotion now. Have the tools ready so if you have the urge to drink use those tools before you drink. You already know that your grandmother loves your sobriety. I have faith in you. Keep us posted.
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Unread 01-15-2014, 03:42 PM   #64
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Michael,
So sorry to hear of your grandmother's worsening health. People, places and things. If there is drama try not to get involved. ... meaning don't let it affect your sobriety.

Will be thinking of you Michael.

Peace,
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Unread 01-15-2014, 03:52 PM   #65
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Thanks Saint and R.Lee! It's great to know that I have a source of strength to draw from on this site when things get tough.
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Unread 01-15-2014, 07:30 PM   #66
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Hi Michael, I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. R. Lee and Saint have very good advice. Take good care of yourself. You're in my thoughts.

Nancy
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Unread 01-16-2014, 12:57 AM   #67
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Hello all, and thank you for your continued support.
She has gotten worse since this morning, and they are not sure if she will make it for more than 24 more hours. I am leaving tomorrow on a bus, and will be arriving early Friday morning. I am hoping and praying that she makes it until I get there so that I can say my final goodbyes. But whatever happens, I am content that she will be in Heaven with my Grandpa whom she has missed so much. Thank you all again for being a listening ear. Blessings.

Michael
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Unread 01-16-2014, 10:42 AM   #68
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Hey Michael!

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I also feel very good about the way that you are handling it. No matter what, don't drink over it. You can be a good example of what living sober looks like - for your dad, everyone in your family. Despite the fact that we know we all have to go someday, it doesn't make it any easier to deal with at the time. I am praying for you. Take care! Jenm
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Unread 01-16-2014, 04:18 PM   #69
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Michael,

You were one of the first to reach out to me on this site. I will keep you in my thoughts. I hope you get back in time; however, I believe that somewhere out there your grandmother will know all that you have achieved. Keep her in your heart. Thank you.

Love, Gma Susie
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Unread 01-16-2014, 04:29 PM   #70
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JenM & Nan,

Thanks for your support of everyone here. Thanks to those I have forgotten to wish Happy New Year.

Love, Gma Susie
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Unread 01-16-2014, 06:55 PM   #71
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Thank you everyone.
I am on the bus now, headed that direction. I will have internet connection throughout the trip so I will be checking in and out of here all night.
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Unread 01-16-2014, 09:06 PM   #72
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Michael, Have a safe trip. Stay strong. You can get through this.

YOU HELP ME STAY SOBER!!!!
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Unread 01-21-2014, 10:28 AM   #73
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Thanks, R.Lee!

I am doing well. My Grandmother passed on Thursday night before I could get to her. We are traveling to Texas sometime this afternoon or in the morning for the funeral. It is a tough time for our family, but I am making it through. Thank you all for your support.

Michael
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Unread 01-21-2014, 12:20 PM   #74
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Michael, my condolences to you and your family.

It is such a hard time for you all, but you just keep doing what you're doing to get through.

We're here for you.

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Unread 01-21-2014, 08:11 PM   #75
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Michael, Sorry for your loss. I looks like you are doing as well as can be expected
You & your grandmother are in my prayers.
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Unread 01-22-2014, 07:24 PM   #76
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Thank you all for your condolences.
I made it to Texas late last night, and I am over at my Dad and Stepmom's house. He will be home from work soon, and I know that he will offer me a drink within 10 minutes of walking in the door. I am prepared for my response. Thank you all for your continued support. Blessings.

Michael
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Unread 01-22-2014, 11:42 PM   #77
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No thank you dad.
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Unread 01-23-2014, 05:14 AM   #78
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Michael,
My condolences on your loss. There will be a day when the pain you feel today will be replaced with the joyful memories of her life. She will never be forgotten as she lives on through you.

Thinking of you Michael.

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Unread 01-24-2014, 07:14 PM   #79
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Hello Micheal, bright blessings to you.

How lovely and what a wonderful way you have of taking me through your life. Re "pulling out a bag of excuses"....i bet ny bag is bigger then yours!!

Funny though, that the excuss we end up giving are to ourselves. When did that change? It always used to be about giving them to others. Maybe that is growing up, moving on, i often wonder what those things actually mean.

If i was Michael, i would be proud of punch, how ever lazy i felt!!

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong Michael. Loveness to you.
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Unread 01-25-2014, 01:21 PM   #80
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Hello all, and thank you for your condolences and support!

I am heading back to Illinois today, and I am soooo ready to be home! I miss my bed, I miss my job, I miss my routine, I miss the people I live with, I miss my coffee pot........
Although I love my family, I am tired of seeing rum bottles laying out everywhere, and I am tired of watching my Dad get plastered.
I am clicking my heels together as we speak! There's no place like home, there's no place like home.......
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Unread 01-26-2014, 12:27 AM   #81
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Hello Michael,

I am very sorry for your loss... it is always hard no matter what the circumstances!

I definitely can relate, and appreciate hearing about your family visit... I know a congrats is in order! I'm dreading the next time I go visit mine and have been putting it off. I love them so much!
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Unread 01-26-2014, 01:26 AM   #82
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Thank you so much Hockeygirl. It was hard to stay sober during that hard time, but I know that if I can stay sober through that, I can stay sober through anything that life throws at me. Blessings!

Michael
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Unread 01-26-2014, 06:58 PM   #83
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Michael, Good going. Have a safe trip home.
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Unread 01-27-2014, 02:27 PM   #84
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Thanks R.Lee!

I have been home since Saturday evening, and getting back into my diet/exercise routine has not been easy. Today was my first workout in 12 days, and I was planning on taking it easy and doing a half workout, then work my way back up to my full routine. I began working out, and something inside me was just screaming NO! I knew that I would not be able to just do a half hearted workout and be satisfied. I threw my whole mind and body into my routine, and did the whole thing. It was really intense, my heart was pounding, my legs felt like jello at the end, but I did it!
I am so grateful for my sobriety, and being able to take it day by day. By not drinking, just one day at a time, I am able to set realistic, and attainable goals for every other area in life. It's like my sobriety is the root in the ground, and all of the other areas of my life are able to grow and bloom from the stability that my sobriety gives.
Honestly, if I could go back in time and never take that first drink, I don't think I would change it. I am grateful for my struggle, I like things this way. Blessings!

Michael
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Unread 01-27-2014, 08:48 PM   #85
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Michael, Sobriety is out root. It is where we get our nourishment. It is our life line.
Working our program 1 day at a time does not mean we ever want to drink again.
You are doing a great job.
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Unread 01-27-2014, 10:31 PM   #86
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Nice job Michael. Proud of you!!! The longer I stay sober the more I cherish it!!

Your muscles are going to hate you for a few days.

Saint
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Unread 01-28-2014, 11:41 AM   #87
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Michael! I really "get" that feeling of pushing your body through the workout. I am the same way. We have a new release in the lifting/power class that I teach, and it just kills the legs. Squats, heavy weighted lunges, lateral lunges, and squats with weight and jacks. Killer! I can feel the strength and muscles in my legs when I do this workout. I sweat like crazy and it is SO HARD but I do it. I'm so proud of you!

I can "hear" the happiness in your writing again. It is awesome to see! Continue to do what you are doing, one day at a time. Take care! Jenm
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Unread 01-28-2014, 04:55 PM   #88
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We alcoholics push everything we do to extremes.
I ran 9 marathons. That was not good enough for me I trained for some extreme running events training with 3 dumbells. Two were 9 pounds one was 165 pounds. I blew out a knee & I no longer run.
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Unread 01-28-2014, 05:27 PM   #89
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Thanks, R.Lee. I will definitely keep that in mind, and remind myself to remember my limits.

BTW, I am 5 months sober today! Feels great!
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Unread 01-28-2014, 08:33 PM   #90
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Congrats on 5 months!!! Almost 4 days for me... (wink)

How was your first week? I feel so confident right now... but I've been keeping myself safely at home. This will start to drive me crazy... (RLee.. extremes! I haven't spent this much time at home ever! My roommates are looking at me weird!) I enjoy hearing about your workouts... but that wouldn't really be my thing. Any advice?
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Unread 01-28-2014, 09:57 PM   #91
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After I got through the first four days, (Congrats, cause those are intense!) I remember having what I call "The calm before the storm." For the next week, things went pretty normal, a craving here a craving there, some mood swings, but nothing major. Then after a week, the PAWS begins to settle in. (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome) I will post a link at the end of this post, you need to read it and educate yourself.
The PAWS involves intense mood swings, irritability, and short term memory loss, as well as some other symptoms. People don't realize that they are going through a temporary stage of recovery, so most decide to go back to drinking. Just remember, when your going through those mood swings, irritability, etc, that it is not going to be your reality forever! It is temporary! It will last from 6 months-2 years depending on your previous alcohol consumption, and will decrease in intensity over time. I am 5 months sober now, and rarely ever have episodes anymore.
By educating yourself on these things before they happen, you will feel much more in control when they hit. Blessings!

Michael

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org...withdrawal.htm
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Unread 01-28-2014, 10:33 PM   #92
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Congrats on the 5 months Michael. I'm proud of you. Woohoo!!!!!
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Unread 01-28-2014, 10:55 PM   #93
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Thank you! I think. (Wink) I cannot say that got me excited.. but comparative to black outs, hangovers, sickness, STD's, hospitalization or death... sounds do - able!

I appreciate your willingness to share and be so supportive! And, congrats again... I say, Let's be the best we can be everyday!
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Unread 01-28-2014, 11:38 PM   #94
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Thank you Saint!

Hockeygirl, the PAWS is 10X more bearable when you know that it is coming, and understand that it is just your brain healing itself. When it comes to your addiction, knowledge truly is power. Remember to stay positive, whatever it takes. When I'm down, I listen to music that inspires me, write a poem, or watch a tear jerker movie.
Alcohol numbs us, and turns us into empty shells. Soon, you are going to begin experiencing your emotions again. Not those mediocre, outer emotions that exist in our conscious minds. Those subconscious feelings of love, anger, sadness, joy, peace, and hope that are buried deep within us. Alcohol shuts those emotions up, and after just a couple of weeks of sobriety, you will begin to experience them again.
Hold on tight baby, and keep posting! We are here for you, you can do this! We love you! Blessings!

Michael
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Unread 01-29-2014, 02:41 AM   #95
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Thank you, Michael!

I want to screen shot that and make it my home screen!

I kinda have a smirk on my face thinking that I have emotions yet to come.. I'm pretty 'emotional' anyway!! This should be fun!

I'm holdn' on!
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Unread 01-29-2014, 07:17 AM   #96
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michaelc232 View Post
...BTW, I am 5 months sober today! Feels great!
Fabulous job Michael!
I'm so proud of you and happy for you!

Nancy
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Unread 01-29-2014, 01:25 PM   #97
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Michael, Keep it up. You are doing well.
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Unread 01-29-2014, 02:21 PM   #98
Tryntryagain
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Hello Michael, bright blessings to you.

I want to hold and hug you. Pukka my friend.

Be peaceful, be ehalthy and be strong. Loveness to you Michael
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Unread 01-29-2014, 03:13 PM   #99
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Thanks everyone! It feels so good to have made it this far.
Tryn, I'm not gonna lie, I had to google Pukka to find out what it meant..... Love it! LOL! Blessings!

Michael
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Unread 01-29-2014, 06:28 PM   #100
Tryntryagain
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Hello Michael. Bright blessings to you.

Thank you for your last post........having googled it, now i know what it means. #

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Michael.
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