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Unread 04-12-2012, 02:52 PM   #1
LilMama908
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Default Help. Please.

I have not been on here in a while, my boyfriend got clean and things were GREAT, but the other day i went to his house after calling and calling and him not answering knowing i was on my way...when i opened the door he was sleeping in his chair. After 9 months of being clean and hardly a craving he went and bought some percocets, his drug of choice has always been heroine. He said he was only able to get one of the 2 into a needle to shoot and it didn't really do anything to him. He is feeling VERY down on himself and I don't know what to do or say for him! Since getting clean he has gotten a job and his own apartment and is doing REALLY well on his own. I don't want this one slip up to affect the 9 months of clean time he has worked SO hard through but at the same time i don't want to treat this like it is nothing and risk him choosing to use again. His family has abandoned him. I am all he has left, he got rid of all of his friends because they were all using, and has been VERY successful until now. I don't know what to do! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
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Unread 04-12-2012, 07:34 PM   #2
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Hi LilMama908, that's too bad that happened with your boyfriend. But tell him it's over and he should stop beating himself up. He should use it as a learning experience and find out why he decided to relapse - recognizing why will help to avoid it in the future.

There's no sense in him continuing to be down on himself when he's accomplished so much so far. It was a slip up, he should learn from it and move forward.

I hope that helps.

Nancy
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Unread 04-12-2012, 10:41 PM   #3
LilMama908
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Thank you Nancy! I just got this message but I had talked to him earlier and basically told him the same thing. He told me he didn't even know why he did it. He's on Suboxone and had taken it that morning and by the evening when he tried to take the percocet it didn't even work and he knew it wouldn't and didn't know why he was still doing it.
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Unread 04-13-2012, 10:04 AM   #4
deanna
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Hi, I have a son who was using heroin, and he also has had relapses. 3 of them. Anyways, what I wanted to say was some people develop a "needle fetish" . The act of doing the drug can be just as habit forming as the drug itself. He could have saw something on TV, or in a movie, or whatever. Something triggered him, and he needs to figure out what, and learn how to cope with it. Is he seeing a pychiatrist, or a therapist while on suboxone? He should let them know about what happened and how to cope with it so it doesnt happen again.
He learned from this, and he is continuing on the path of recovery, that is a good thing. best wishes, deanna
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Unread 04-14-2012, 01:50 AM   #5
LilMama908
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Unfortunately he is not he got a full time job and is so tired when he gets home he feels like he doesn't have time to, but i told him he needs to MAKE time...
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Unread 04-14-2012, 04:10 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LilMama908 View Post
I have not been on here in a while, my boyfriend got clean and things were GREAT, but the other day i went to his house after calling and calling and him not answering knowing i was on my way...when i opened the door he was sleeping in his chair. After 9 months of being clean and hardly a craving he went and bought some percocets, his drug of choice has always been heroine. He said he was only able to get one of the 2 into a needle to shoot and it didn't really do anything to him. He is feeling VERY down on himself and I don't know what to do or say for him! Since getting clean he has gotten a job and his own apartment and is doing REALLY well on his own. I don't want this one slip up to affect the 9 months of clean time he has worked SO hard through but at the same time i don't want to treat this like it is nothing and risk him choosing to use again. His family has abandoned him. I am all he has left, he got rid of all of his friends because they were all using, and has been VERY successful until now. I don't know what to do! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Beating oneself up does no good. Tomorrow is a new day. the great thing about being alive is you can always do a do over !!!
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Unread 04-14-2012, 07:58 AM   #7
NancyB
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Hi LilMama908, maybe you can print this link off for him. It's called "Phases of treatment- medication is only a small part". Hopefully it will reinforce to him that just taking the medication is not treatment. The medication only stops cravings and withdrawals so that the patient can work on the addiction and be able to some day live both addiction free and medication free.

http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=23809

Hopefully that will help.

Nancy
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Important disclaimer: Any information in this post is not and does not constitute medical advice under any circumstances. Addiction Survivors, Inc. does not warranty or guarantee the accurateness, completeness, adequacy or currency of the information contained in or linked to the Site. Your use of information on the Site or materials linked to the Site is entirely at your own risk. NEVER take any online advice over that of a qualified healthcare provider. Any information contained on AddictionSurvivors.org should only serve to inspire further investigation with credible, verifiable references sources such as your physician or therapist.
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Unread 04-15-2012, 01:25 AM   #8
bizzby45
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You need
To talk to him about the importance of seeing a therapist of gojng to meeting. Taking suboxone alone is not goin to prevent a relapse, if he wants to stay clean he needs to put more work in. The way I look at it is, there are people who work 12-15 hour days 5-6 days per week ad they still get to a meeting or a counselor. If he doesn't take care of himself he is of no use at his job and he may not even have a job f he relapses again. I know this sounds harsh but it's coming from experience and I know countless people who have tried to just take methadone or subs with no therapy and it doesn't work. He needs to work on the reasons he is using and all that good stuff.
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Unread 04-17-2012, 11:16 AM   #9
LilMama908
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Thank you ALL for your help, since I posted I talked to him and told him not to let it get to him, and that he needed to start going to meetings and he relapsed yet again, i went to see him and IMMEDIATELY knew he was on some kind of opiate but he denied it and denied it and now i don't know what to do. I hate being lied to, I also know it's not HIM lying to me its his disease. A small part of me wants to just walk away but i know that won't help. He has NO ONE, I also feel like he would spiral out of control if i did. I know that's not my problem but i love him deeply and want him well and working on his sobriety. He needs SOME support. Having never been an addict myself i'm struggling to keep myself sane with his lies, and be strong to help him through this...
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Unread 04-20-2012, 08:29 AM   #10
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Is he not taking the suboxone anymore? Maybe the dose he is on is not right, and he still is gietting cravings to use. What does his doctor say?
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