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Unread 12-29-2015, 09:59 AM   #1
Gypsymagic1
Junior Member
 
Posts: 1
Default Concerned: valid or not?

Hi. I'm new here. I don't know whether my spouse has a problem with alcohol & I worry. He works full-time at a high stress very detail oriented job & he never drinks before or during work. He is gentle & loving with me. He has only once in the 2 years we have been together shown what I would consider signs of being drunk. He did not pass out but his behavior changed. His father was an alcoholic, & my husband has an extremely high tolerance for it. One night he might have only a beer or two. On others he might drink several plus wine with dinner & a glass of whiskey at bedtime. On weekends he grabs a few beers to get in the car to drive somewhere & thinks nothing of consuming alcoholic beverages with every meal & in between. He never seems impaired. He is not mean nor does it seem to change his actions. At his physical last year the doctor said he was doing great--but he didn't tell the truth about how much alcohol he consumes. I honestly don't know if there is a problem. I grew up with non-drinkers & I may have wine or a cocktail or two when we go out. I do not drink much or daily nor ever to the point of feeling "high"--2 over the course of a night out is about all I drink, then I switch to soft drinks. My husband doesn't see his alcohol use as a problem, & I know that at times in his past he has drunk to the ppoint of being really impaired but that doesn't happen now. There was a time many years ago when he apparently used cocaine but he quit fairly easily with a few meetings with NA. That was 30 years ago & he never has touched it again. I don't know if he is physically dependent on alcohol but if he shows no signs of withdrawal & only has one beer some nights, is he? He apologized profusely the one time about a year & a half ago when I told him I would not be riding home with him if I knew how to drive a straight shift. Now I know who to call but he said it would not happen again & it has not. He has never gotten a DUI but he does drive after drinking. I repeat, he is a good provider & a good husband. Am I concerned for no reason? Are some people able to metabolize that much alcohol & live a normal life? Thank you.
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Unread 12-30-2015, 03:10 PM   #2
R. Lee
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Posts: 4,984
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Gypsy, Welcome to the site. I am a recovering alcoholic. Have you expressed your concern to your husband? What is his response?

He drinks while driving a car. He lies to his doctor about how much he drinks. He has gone to NA meeting over the use of Coke. Ask him to quit drinking for a month. See of he can. A normal drinker can have it or leave it alone. To me if he does not have a drinking problem yet, he might have one in the future. If he keeps drinking & driving he might have a drunk driving in the future. There are a lot of yet's for him.

I hope I helped you a little. He is the only one who can do anything about his drinking. Good luck.
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