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Unread 08-01-2016, 06:06 PM   #1
alita56
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Default 1 mg a day for past 6 months

I've been on subs for 2 1/2 years this time. After the first year I knew I was not going to stay on for life. So I started taper then, from 12mg to 8, then to 4mg to 2, and now I've been taking 1mg for at least 6 mos. I stopped going to the Sub Doc in Jan 2016, could not afford it anymore. I'm down to about 12 1/2mg pieces. I'm a little scared, mostly because there is no choice (can't get anymore) and I do not have anyone in my world that even knows I'm on subs, let alone know I'm getting off it. I am in AA (since July 10, 2015) and go to meetings at least 4 times a week, have a sponsor, and am working the steps. I have been depressed for over 2 years and its real hard for me to get off the couch and go out of this house. Just going to the meetings sometimes is very hard. I started volunteering once a week, to help myself get out. I don't talk to anyone, unless I'm at a meeting. I've isolated myself, I guess for the last few years. I have posted at this site a few years back, have gotten a lot out of it. So here I am again at the 11th hour. I have tapered off subs twice before, but I went back to drinking or taking pain pills, or both. Now I want to stay clean and sober!! and I want off the subs. Just wish I had someone to talk to about it. This time with the subs I never got the "UP" feeling from it. So the whole time I've been on it, I don't have any energy. Lately I seem to want to sleep more. When I wake in the mornings, I can take a nap after I'm up an hour or so. I've always had trouble sleeping, not now though. I know some of this is I'm in my 50's. I thought that once I stopped drinking I would have energy, not the case this time. I'm hanging in there. I went 2 days without the subs a couple of times in the past 6 mos. but I get bad diarrhea, like when I went through withdraws off the pain pills. I have cut the 8mg sub film in 8 pieces for the last 6mos, and taken 1 day. this last 1 I have I cut into 16 pieces. Although I took 2 pieces making up 1mg for the last 3 days, tomorrow I'm doing the 1/2 mg. I was thinking to skip a day or two? Its really hard doing this alone. Its crazy I quit smoking 18 mos. ago and I quit drinking over a year ago, and now I have no choice to stop taking the subs. I want to be off them no doubt!! I'm just tired of being alone and having no energy and or motivation to do anything. Will there be that much physical stuff when I completely stop taking the subs??
Thank you guys for all the post on tapering, very helpful info. I'm proud of ya'all !!
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Unread 08-02-2016, 06:38 AM   #2
NancyB
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Hi alita56, there really is no 'recipe' for tapering except that the patient has to be comfortable with what he or she is doing. At this point, being under pressure to stop because of your limited supply, limits options. You could, at this point, you could try skipping a day to see how you do. Or you could take .5 at night to see if it helps you sleep, or you could stop now and only take even .25mg to take the edge off when/if it gets back. I have a friend who recently stopped at .5mg without much issue. He did need to take melatonin to sleep and valerian root for rls. But he never needed immodium or had much in the way of stomach issues. But everyone is so different, including his or her threshold for discomfort. What might not be bad for one person could be horrible for another.

This thread has good and bad stories,
http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vb...ad.php?t=16678
Some commonalities between successful tapers:

-Keeping busy so that they're not focused on how they feel during the taper. Just getting on with life and making the taper not front of mind.

-Exercising. That boosts natural endorphin production. With any opioid, the natural endorphin production is compromised. So while tapering doing things like exercising, dancing, laughing, listening to music, anything pleasurable - can help boost natural endorphin production which helps immensely with the taper.

Hope that helps!

Nancy
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Unread 08-02-2016, 08:52 AM   #3
alita56
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I just have never had any support where the subs are concerned. there are times I have forgotten to take it, and other times take it because I'm bored, not for a need. I don't talk with anybody in the drug world anymore. the only people I see are from AA. Of course I don't talk to AA's about Subs either. Guess a lot of this isolation is of my own making, but the desire to do anything has left me. The little I do do is forced.
I have wasted a lot of time with my life. Now I'm trying to change that, but its real hard for me, I don't have any motivation. My sponsor says to pray and ask my higher power to help me, I do it, but... Thank you for your responce I'm sure I'll make it through. I have gotten off the subs twice before. I'm not going back to using and or drinking. Ive had enough of that.
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Unread 08-02-2016, 09:37 AM   #4
NancyB
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Hi again, have you been to a doctor to get a full physical with bloodwork? If not, please think about it. You could have a vitamin deficiency - perhaps Vitamin D? Do you exercise at all? Do you think you could be suffering from depression? Sorry for all the questions, just hoping to help.

Nancy
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Unread 08-02-2016, 11:00 AM   #5
Sam Bailey
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Hi Alita,

It's hard to know what the next best step is for you. Tapering down even further would be a good idea. But without being able to get any additional Sub, well, that's a bit tough. But still. I would whittle down your remaining Subs.

Other words, instead of the 1mg per day, take .75. .50 would be even better, if you can tolerate it. This won't buy you a ton of time, but it might help some.

As good as more tapering, IMO---and it's something you can do right away---is exercise. If you're not exercising now, start. As long as your health is good enough, really hit some exercise HARD! Seriously, get your heart beat and respiration pumping.

Exercise has been, for many people, the key component in tapering down, to off!, of all medications.

Good luck, Alita.

best,

sam b
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Unread 08-03-2016, 02:39 PM   #6
alita56
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Thank you for responding to me. Yes, I've had a physical and blood work done this year. All blood work came back fine. I do take vitamin D. I'm 58, so I thought a lot of my lack of motivation and energy was my age. I thought I didn't notice it because I was in a bad relationship and I was drinking & drugging. I thought once I stopped, my energy would return. When I first got on the subs, I was looking forward to the burst of energy, I had experienced when I was on it before. But this time around I never got that. Frankly it made me tired. I knew that less was always better, so I started backing off from 12mg to 8mg, then to 4mg, the first year. I always knew I would not take it for a long time. I really want to be drug and alcohol free. I stopped seeing the sub doc Jan 2016, I had enough subs that I had saved, from using less, during the time I saw the sub doc. (2 1/2 years). Anyways I know this situation is of my own making. I could have been off the subs at any time in the last few months. Just didn't do it. I got myself down to 1mg a day, for pretty much the last 4 to 6 months. I have over a year sober and I don't want to tell anyone there for fear they will say I'm not clean & sober. I don't see anything wrong with people taking subs in the beginning of their sobriety. I think it's up to the individual and their higher power, when they get off it. Yes, I do believe I am depressed. It is so hard for me to even go to meetings some days. I also have no friends, I isolate too much, and I don't exercise. I know I would like to do these things again. I used to do all types of activities, go to the gym, had friends, craft work, cook, fishing, etc... I did a lot of things, and tried new things. Today I don't do much. I'm unhappy with the fact that I don't do anything. I know that it's all my fault, my whole life is my responsibility. I don't know how I've gotten myself this isolated, but it's to a point of I really don't have any energy to get off my ass and get out there and do something, although I want too at the same time. I live alone with my dog. I do go to meetings 4 or 5 times a week, then come home. Sometimes I go out after the meeting with the people there, because I know in the back of my mind that I need to be around people. But I just don't feel it. I think I've laughed once or twice in the last year. My get up and go got up and left, before I got off the drugs & alcohol and got rid of the guy I was seeing. Like I said I really thought that once I got myself clean & sober that my energy and want too, would come back, just from that. Then I would go to the gym, make new friends, create a new life for myself. apparently not this time. I was clean & sober for 7 years in the 90's, and I did all kinds all things. Anyways thanks for listening. Maybe I need to see a doc for the depression, I just really didn't want to take anymore pills. and the doctors don't always know the right medications a person might need.
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Unread 08-03-2016, 05:06 PM   #7
Sam Bailey
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Hey Alita,

Apologies for sounding like, for being, a broken record---but so be it, a broken record I am!

Exercise.

Start now! Literally, start today. Even if it's just 2X around your block. One time even. Go out and DO something. Jog for 30 seconds, slowly---then walk for a minute. A 30 second jog, then another walk. Repeat. Just a couple times is a great start.

And if you can't get out of your home? Plop down and do 10-15 sit-ups. 25-50 jumping jacks. Push-ups, if you can. Get some dumb-bells and move those around for 20 minutes.

Seriously, Alita, exercise does something incredible to your body. To the production of endorphins...and to other hormonal necessities, exercise will kick-start them!

And at 58 years old? Dude! (as my son might say) you're still a kid! Okay, maybe not a kid---but 58 years old is, these days, really not an old person. You have, if you now treat your entire self with love and kindness and good health---a LOT of years remaining in you're life.

I know it's hard. Every person on this site knows how difficult it is to motivate our sorry-selves to do.....something. Yet, this is what you MUST do.

And IF you do this, I (nearly!) promise you that you will begin to feel better. No, not after 3 times, or 7 times. But within a month, maybe as soon as 2 weeks, you will see a difference. More important, you will FEEL a difference.

Heck, maybe after a week you will feel better. Maybe you will. Knowing that you're helping your good-self to recover will make you feel something different, something better!

It's come time for you to save your own life. To do that, you have to reach out for help. Support Meetings are great! But you also have that internal battle raging. Reach IN to yourself; help yourself.

Save yourself, Alita. I believe you want to.

And believe it or not, exercise, heart-pounding, sweat-slinging exercise can help save you. You can resurrect your life.

best,

sam
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Unread 08-05-2016, 03:01 PM   #8
alita56
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Thanks Sam B. I will. I have an air climber at home that I hate to say that I just look at it. But I am going to do at least 5 mins on it right now. It is very hard, but I know you are right that I have to save my own ass. I do want to too!! Its so funny because at one time I did keep up with regular exercise and a lot of other activities. I do still eat pretty good. At least No sugars & junk food & soda pop. But as of late I don't do anything physical. As for my taper, I skipped yesterday and did .25 today. I don't feel any different so far, and plan to repeat skipping a day tomorrow, I guess until I'm out.
my only option at this point, and I will add in exercise each day. one day at a time, I can take care of myself. But I will keep in touch about my progress. Thank you for your words of encouragement.
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Unread 08-16-2016, 07:36 AM   #9
Wrl78
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I can tell a huge difference when I excercise!
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