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Unread 01-07-2017, 07:07 AM   #42
Tryntryagain
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Posts: 3,249
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Good morning dear Soapdish....errr...yup, still the morning in my dear ole Blighty. The brightest of blessings to you.

I need to be forgiven here in that i had no idea what was going on for you recently. Truly i didn't. Your eloquence leaves me in no doubt that what is going on at the moment is right next to ****king horrible.

There are so many things i want to share with you around this, and as you know Tryn will read between all the lines, and i will get there.

Firstly there is a connection with yourself you need....and are not recognising you have. These circumstances came about from your courage.

In circumstances on the journey of life, how many times do we find ourselves in a situation that we did not ask for, can not understand why we are here, and thus feel so very resentful that the journey appears to be stinking of rotten fish? When those circumstances are affairs of the heart....when love has been given so there is nothing left.......you are left with the metaphorical "bill" to-boot.

Back in the day i went to court as a victim along with another 17 boys. The world was promised to us, our bravery communicated in God like hushes.......and the whole shebang/case "collapsed".... it amounted to a hill of beans.......and our "bravery" was ushered out of court and disposed of as quickly as possible so it was.

I drank for a couple of decades on that. A bit like having done something amazing in life and folk say...."i bet you dined out free on that for awhile!".....i did so because i regretted....while drinking.... every...single....minute of it.

I am 51 in March, 1 day at a time i chose abstinence, and i look back on my journey and through sober eyes?......God it was hard. I regret precisely nothing.

If i could i would drag those now dead ****ers back through court.....look at me......so i would.

I would not do so because i was "brave"...."courageous".....not because i seek revenge.....simply because i have found my voice and it deserves to be heard. Within that process resides...."me".

Lawyers and whatnot should be seen as what ifs and never minds.....they are specifically there to empower your voice to be heard and to fiddle around with the bullshit....(da law)...that they seem to think is dreadfully important...which of course it has to be. In their own way they seek justice and truth. In doing so the perpetrator, the accused... has nowhere left to run.

The fears around another, stalking....threatening.....the very fact of "could do...might do"....is the shackles still binding your strength like Samsons hair.

Make no mistake, you have been put in this position in yourself, and on the journey of your life by another. If....and it is a big if, the process of courts and lawyers is something your voice feels a need to do....then do it.

If not....your own voice will give you an alternative pathway. Follow it if that is the case.

The point i am trying to make is trust you...believe you....hear your voice and follow your heart.

That is all.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you dear Soapdish.
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