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Unread 12-24-2016, 05:21 PM   #15
soapdish
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Posts: 371
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Hi,

Nancy, Lostdog, Sam Bailey thanks so much. Your words are precious to me.

You are right. I know I must stop defending him and mothering him. It's out of my hands for now. My concern is not really with what I did. I firmly believe I had no choice. What he did to the solid wood door, could have been my face so I really had no choice. If it had been the first time the police had had to intervene, he would have just got a caution, he wouldn't be in prison right now. So yeah, he deserves to be there and it might just save his life..our lives.
My concern is that the prison system is horrific. He still deserves dignity and help. Not from me. I know that. I have to stop mothering.
I found an association today who work to help new inmates. They provide blankets, soap etc and orientation and counselling. So I have contacted them and I hope they can offer a lifeline to him. I just want someone to fight for rehab not just let him rot away in Milan's overcrowded prison.
It's the last thing I can do I feel. His family want nothing more to do with him.

I am keeping busy, made a completely pointless origami Xmas tree and some reindeer today. Very therapeutic and kept me out of the pub.
Mum needs help cleaning and washing so I'm just being busy. Doom and gloom never helped anyone.
There'll be good days and bad days I know that, but heck, this is not the only thing in my life and I can't let it be all-consuming. When I go back to Italy after the hols, I'm gonna redecorate and try to stop ruminating so much.

I truly thank you all for your supportive replies.
I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Let's all stay strong during this tempting time of year and remember that addiction, our mistakes, our pain, our hurt to ourselves and others are not the only things that define us.

Big hugs to everyone and thank you all soooooooooo much
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