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Unread 12-20-2016, 06:11 PM   #9
Senior Member
Posts: 371


Thanks for the replies to yesterday's post.

He is in prison. He wasn't released after Saturday. They are keeping him locked up until the trial on the 23rd of January and then he will be sentenced. He will either be sent to prison or put under house arrest. The system is rather complicated and I won't bore you. It is because this was the 7th time the police had been involved.
Yes I am blushing. 7 times (plus all the times I didn't call the police). I needed to wake up earlier. Dr.Jekyl and Mr.Hyde completely. I just had immense faith in the good side until the very end. He was better certainly and this is the sad thing, I thought we'd had a really good week. It was so nice with all the Christmas stuff and he helped in the house so much all week, was really kind and cheerful. That's also why I'm so sad.
I feel so guilty.
But there's no point in 'should have dones'

So in my doubts about the police escort when picking his stuff up, i meant his family will come to pick it up. I have to tell them tomorrow. I have to go to their house and tell them. I don't even know if they know. He did not have a good relationship with them. I don't know them well but I know family reputation is everything to them. Maybe they'll believe me or maybe they'll blame me. There are a lot of them, that's for sure. I don't want to aggravate the situation with a police escort.
I think I will do this: I could physically go to their house tomorrow and speak to them on the intercom and ask the brother, who I know best, to come down into a cafè and I'll just tell him what's happened over coffee.
I can't just take his stuff to their house in a car because I haven't got a driving licence. There aren't taxis. There is one person i could ask for a lift. Otherwise I'll have to get the family to pick it up. In that case, I will tell the brother a time and day and the same to the police.

Alternatively I could just go and ask the police to go and inform the family and pick his stuff up from the police station and have no contact with them whatsoever.

But that will give me absolutely no knowledge of what's happening or control over the situation so I'm reluctant to do that. I'm shaking. thinking about it.

The family could be so ashamed of him that they cut him off completely. Nobody will come and pick his stuff up or they might but not give it him. There are important documents about his case, documents, permit of stay, passport...he needs those. They might just leave him to rot away in prison.

Should I just let go? Completely? I want for him to get better, not worse. The notorious prison in Milan was built for 1000 inmates and houses 1700. That's not rehab. I am so scared. This is the worse thing that's ever happened to me, and him. What have I done?

Seriously panicking.

I'm going back to England on Thursday for a week so I have to get all of this done by then. All his clothes are on the bed in neat piles. Last night I slept on the sofa. I keep telling myself it was his fault but that's not useful. I feel like I took him under my wing and then massacred him. It seems so brutal. I miss him. But he broke my door down and scared me witless. Consequence for action. If it had been his first time he'd just have got a caution. It took the 7th time to go from jail directly to prison. It's not like I hadn't reached out for help before. I think he was just happy at the end of the week and nice all Saturday morning because he knew he was going to get pissed on Saturday evening.
When we were at the police station, he texted me "get me out of here" but he never once sent a text saying "I'm sorry" or "are you ok?2 He sent "I love you" though.
I thought they were just going to keep him overnight and release him the next day, like the other times, so i was frantically trying to get the locks changed on a Sunday. It was really weird because there was thick fog and at the riverbank Sunday mass was taking place. All you could see were ghostly figures and candle lights. Anyway, I bumped into a police officer from the last episode that took place in June and she stopped me on the bridge and told me what was happening. Not to worry that he wasn't being released and he would go in front of the judge on Monday morning. Yesterday afternoon she phoned and told me that he's been sent to prison and the trial will be on the 23rd. So no matter what, he's getting a month in prison. It should sober him up. So long as it's not that overcrowded one (it will be). Should I find out? Then I'll obsessively read scandalous news articles online and drive myself crazy. I am being melodramatic maybe. I watched the TV series Oz. Dear me!

Now the other thing is this: after the previous episode in June he got a letter saying that there was an investigation underway and it had his defense lawyer's contact on it. We met the lawyer and told him our story and he began filing the legal briefs. I have since written to this lawyer explaining what has happened and he says that he hasn't been nominated as the defense lawyer at this trial. So god knows what's happening. He might have a really shitty lawyer or he may have refused one. The good lawyer said I should get the family to contact him. I don't know if I should reach out to the family and help them navigate this nightmare of a legal system. Their Italian isn't good enough to understand it all. But who am I to say that? Keeping contact and helping the family is not letting go is it? I just want to fight for him to get into house arrest in a community centre for addicts. They do exist. I need the family to push the lawyer for that outcome. What do I do? What am I going to do?
I'm going to run away back to England. That's what I will do.
I need to go and put his stuff away and go to bed and stop panicking and remember that morning is wiser than evening.
Thanks for the support. Tomorrow I'm not working much and a friend is coming so I might tell her. It might help me if I confide in someone but I might still need you guys too. Thanks so much again.
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