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Unread 04-10-2015, 12:16 PM   #106
Sam Bailey
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Originally Posted by DianeC View Post
I have come to a place in my life, Alexis, that I want to feel good physically, mentally and spiritually. I mentioned earlier that I'm not religious; however, I am very spiritual. Reasons many of us drink (I think) should be addressed and dealt with, and this can be done when we make our minds up to do it. That's where I got to be when I decided that I didn't want to drink alcohol anymore. I'd toyed with that idea a little while before I made the leap. I wanted to be sure, in my mind, that I was in fact abusing alcohol. I think in our society, in America and across the water, alcohol is advertised as nothing serious to add into one's life. In fact, it's advertised as a compliment to food, fun, and strife. For a long time, I looked around me and saw that alcohol was everywhere: i.e. in restaurants, at friends' houses and at social gatherings, etc. I rarely kept it in my home, but it wasn't hard to go pick up. I've never been an addictive-type person in my life with anything, so turning to alcohol so much started bothering me as time progressed. I started to feel that I was abusing alcohol, and I decided I was. It gets easier with time to not go there... when at one time I would have. Setting goals to not drink one day at a time has led (for me) to turning completely away. I want to face life now, in good and bad times, without altering myself in any way. It feels good to know that I have power to control things. That's inebriating in itself! Life has its challenges, for sure. Right now, I'm going through one. I want to take everything one step at a time. I have not been diagnosed with anything yet. I'm going to call the specialist this morning and make my appointment for further testing to see. In the meantime, I will stay in the present; I will make choices I'm proud of, and I'll abstain from alcohol to get through. Remember to think through choices. We DO have power, Alexis. Use yours. It can be done, and you can do it.
Hi Diane,

Good post, Diane. Lovely. Smart. Darned insightful.

To be the best person one can be, what a glorious goal!

I realized some time ago, just as I was exiting 20+ dark years of Active Addiction, that I would NEVER be the best "sam bailey" I could be WHILE still using drugs. Or drinking.

And the thought, which I have posted about several times, that one day I would wake up old and addled, run my arthritic fingers through my ever-thinning gray hair, and think, "damn! I never really, not really 'n truly, tried to be my best self," tormented me.

Be my Best Self! No matter what that means, success or struggle. No matter.

Like you Diane, I had used up (wasted?) a whole lotta years. More than you, I suspect. The ONLY way I could ever be my "best self," I believed, was to get rid of the one thing that was crippling me, that was keeping me stuck in time, mired in that awful place where I simply could not move forward---with no chance to become the person that God (cosmos, universe?) meant me to be.

Anyway. That's all. Good for you, Diane!

best,

sam b

Last edited by Sam Bailey; 04-10-2015 at 12:21 PM..
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