Thread: Feeling Sad
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Unread 11-27-2009, 11:36 PM   #8
CarlyO's Avatar
Posts: 2,566

Hi 1418,
Ditto on all of the feedback, it's probably good to get a male's perspective and yes, good thing you found out sooner rather than later what a jerk he is.

The dating world can be tough, I have several friends who are divorced with children who have been thorough similar experiences. I mean they went through so much crap towards the end of the marriage, due to the spouse refusing to get help, basically being alone, well, you know what it can be like ...
I can't speak to the specifics but I do have a lot of late night conversations with my girlfriends about the guys they date, as they are trying to re-build their lives. We even double dated with a couple of the guys they were seeing and thought yes, these are good guys, and BAM! out of no where they just change, so even I was like, I don't get it , he seemed to be so into you, so.. together. They say the same things you were posting, why? what the heck ? I hate that they were blindsided, but I know they just need someone to listen and be there.
Of course it hurts, you are testing the waters, so to speak. You went through so much with ex and you have every right to date, I know from all your posts, you would never just jump into something willy nilly and you love your son BUT at the same time , you do not have to live like a nun ; )

I think making new friends in general is tough on its own, I have made my fair share of mistakes with "girlfriends" or the mothers of my child's friends
( playdates and all of that ) and I too am baffled by how my judgement could have been so off on some of the "friends" . I am learning but it aint easy sometimes.

Anyway, sorry to digress, maybe take this as a learning experience, I know it doesn't take the confusion and hurt away, but I really believe you have great intuition, like everything it takes practice, you will get there. And know that there is someone out there worthy of you and your son. In the meantime, go out, have fun and I have seen it with my friends, when they least expected it, that is when they meet that special someone : )

I truly hope you had a great holiday, enjoy your weekend and take care, Carly : )
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