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Unread 12-04-2009, 07:57 PM   #19
DD22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lily29 View Post
I don't want to generalize, but the creed in the AA and NA programs that I have gone to have been, abolutely no substances, even non-mind-altering ones. So my friends said, when you're ready to get off "the drugs" call us. I think it's ridiculous, and the behavior almost reminds me of a cult. They don't have any, (IMO) legitimate reason for this, it's "just the way it is".

So I'm lonely, but physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually I'm in a better place then I've ever been. I don't have the luxury to spend 2 months in bed going through withdrawals and then trying to slowly get my strength back. This has made it so I can stop the destructive behavior of using while still maintaining a "normal" life.

And the people around me, like my co-workers, definitely notice. I get "you look so much better/happier/healthier" everyday. I thought no one knew when I was using-they may not have known exactly what it was, but they knew I didnt have my shit together and I was a mess!!

I know I say this all the time, but having you guys here makes such a big difference in my life. You are the best. Really
Thats why I have been kind of hesitant on going to a NA meeting. I want to be honest if I do go and I think people will get down on me about being on subs. I have been very open minded about trying new things, but from what I've heard and read about it, some of it reminds me of being a cult atmosphere in a way and I have a hard time with some of the twelve step stuff. Some of it I don't really connect to. My Dad goes to Ga for gambling and my brother goes to AA for alcohol. It has really helped them a lot. They have suggested I try NA out but I feel my situation is a little diffeferent from there since I'm on subs. But I guess I can't say too much about it since I've never been. I do relate to you about taking the time out of your life to go through withdrawals and the time it takes to get your strength back. I have done it numerous times in the ten years that I've been an adict. It is so hard to go to work, deal with your everyday responsibilities, and live your life while you are going through withdrawals! On top of that everytime you get clean than relapse and try to get clean again, it gets harder and harder. At least for me. I also have felt a litlle lonely since I've gotten clean and moved. I cut a lot of people out of my life, which was good and I needed to. But I am also feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally so much better! And I still do have some good friends and a great family.
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