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Unread 01-27-2011, 05:01 PM   #6
Posts: 86


My guess it that you are lieing to him, because you know that he is not likely to accept anything that you are going to say to him. He will get piss off because he most likely feels that you are not doing what he wants to you to do. Which is to stop abusing Methadone. They will say that you are resistant.

What I would do is find out what is it that you want to do. My guess is that because you call it abuse is because you are using a lot more than you think you should. If you think that is not in your best interst then do you best to do less all the time and stop playing with yourself. It is you how is making you feel fairly bad, low and cheap.

Perhaps if you would have know that most would have been acceptable to you, you wouldn't have lied. It you have chronic pain you need to start managing your pain. You surely do not want to hurt.

I understand it would be hard to find someone to be totally confortable with whatever you do. Probrably does not exist. As I am writing this I realize and wonder if you was my friend and I cared about you if I would be willing to be understanding or at least not critical. It is a bitch when one want to be unconditionally acceptable and loved of the other persons but know that the other person have expectation and values that might bother the shit out of you.

I wouldn't kick myself in the ass for too long. Consider your self a fallible person like the rest of us and do not abuse this concept too much. Do it one more time and get it over with, that way you do not have too feel you are missing something. Have a good time thinking you are a low and cheap kind of dude. Then look yourself in the mirror and tell your self you will be peeeeeeeeeerfect until the next time you **** up. Life sometimes does that all by itself. Think that you are no good worthless piss of shit. We actually do not need much help from that. You most know you are probably your worse critic.

I do not know what you mean that you hate what you have become, but it looks to me that you are fairly bright guy and you are probably trying to measure yourself unrelisticallly and without defects.

Take it easy. I think suboxone is a superior medication. but I also know people who take methadone and do not abuse their dose. They have bettere things with their lives. Dont kick yourself too much, shit you probably not that bad of a guy anyway.

Last edited by Carlos; 01-27-2011 at 05:06 PM..
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