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Unread 05-23-2016, 01:07 PM   #516
Senior Member
Posts: 976

Hi! Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, Millie, Saint, and Alexis. I am doing well, I had an incredibly busy weekend and work (both the gym and the restaurant) and I am exhausted - but I taught a weightlifting class this am and now I have the rest of the day off! I'm so excited. My house is a mess and the laundry is behind and I don't care.

Well, nothing changes if nothing changes. My brother has not contacted me since last week when I had the police go over there. It's almost like - if we pretend it isn't there, then everything is fine. NO IT IS NOT! I don't know if committing him is the right answer, but I don't know if I could live with myself if I didn't at least try to save his life. It is a privilege and a pleasure to help my mom with yardwork, house stuff, anything that she needs, I have always done it. My brother, never married and no kids, has never lifted a finger to help with anything. And especially not now, as he sits in a chair all day and night, everyday, no job, and drinks. What a sad, sad thing.

I have been praying for my mom to have peace somehow in this, but I am praying also that she gets FED UP. It no longer concerns me if people in my family get "mad" at me if I go through with the legal process of commitment, involuntary. Of course it would be best if he would be willing to go get help voluntarily, but again, according to him, everything is fine and nothing is wrong. No job, lives for free at mom's, and I am more than happy to help her (as are my sons) even though I have 2 jobs and raise 3 boys by myself.

He WILL die of his alcoholism, and it won't take very long I'm afraid. He is 48, the oldest of us 3 siblings. My sister tries to help in any way that she can, but she lives 1,100 miles away from us. His behavior, his verbal abuse, his narcissism, yes it is all part of his 'disease' but it is also the choice of the individual as to whether he or she wants to allow it in his/her life. "I" will not allow it in mine. I am by no means undermining the pain and heartache I caused when I was drinking, and I am in no way shape or form saying that I am perfect. Far from it! I'm SO grateful today, that by God's grace and mercy, I am sober, still in counseling at church, and I simply will not tolerate his abusiveness and drunken behavior. It is just sickening and heartbreaking all at the same time. I will not and cannot pretend that everything is ok when it is very clearly not. I have spoken with his team of transplant surgeons (actually the head surgeon) at the University of Iowa hospitals where they have cared for him before, during, and after the liver transplant. They are obviously very concerned, he has not checked in with them for 7 months. Hiding from everyone does not make the disease go away, nor does it make it any better. I have physician support and support from my sister - if he chooses not to get the life saving help, I will have to have him committed by the court. And that is where my heart, my biblical counseling, and teaching from the bible has led me. Along with a whole bunch of prayer!

Thank you for thinking of me. I have to continue to take care of myself throughout this, at times it just tears my heart apart. As he sees it, I am 'judging' him and acting like I am perfect, and that is SO far from the truth. This is completely about love for my brother and my desire to (try) to save his life. Yes, I realize that the treatment might not take and he'll just kill himself with alcohol. However, I have to at least try.

Again, thank you SO much for your prayers and support. It means so very much to me as sometimes I am bogged down with feeling like the 'bad guy'. I spend a lot of time in God's word and seek counsel and advice from my Christian family. Lord willing, and in God's time, let it be His will and His love that shows through me. Love you all, Jenm
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