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Unread 01-19-2015, 02:01 PM   #28
Tryntryagain
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Posts: 3,249
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Good evening Dear Jenm. Bright blessings to you.

I like that your true focus is eternity. It means all of us can be infinite.

I know i am a Blighty fellow, and over here we call it "maths", and my dear friends on the other side of the pond say "math"......but i do believe Dear Jenm, that is important not to wait for eternity, it starts with you. As an entity, it is your eternity to have. That adds up. Certainly worth waiting up for.

Jenm?, You know folk talk about choices, and how important it is in our journey into sustained sobriety to accept that those choices belong to us? Any alcoholic that has lived long enough to become sober, i think deserves any choice that enables them the intimate independence sobriety brings. Why and how this family empowers me, is that any part of my being, is my choice.

As an analogy, if i drive "my car", i only notice others that drive the same. Somehow, all the other cars on the road are "invisible"......the gift we have as alcoholics celebrating sobriety a day at a time, is that the experience of alcoholism means that now we can see, we can see an awful, awful lot.

Jenm, alcohol shut down my willingness to care about anything apart from myself. I did not plan it that way, but i am afraid hindsight very much makes it look that way. I do not dispute I had only really ever known mind altering substances, imagine finding your own mind eh?
WOW!

It is unravelling infront of this family, and energy is the key. Motivation, "we can do this together"....my prayer in the morning.

I remember, Ooo, about a year or so ago, i was drinking, then not, then was, then not, i was driving myself bonkers, I came and read a post you had left me.

Here i was in Blighty, an alcoholic that nobody could possibly understand.......dont get me wrong Jenm, i really thought i was the only alcoholic on the planet, (i know!), and i read your post...and eh?.....cant be?....an alcoholic?.....never.

I think it was the day you expressed how you had just run around the world, (felt like it to me), and once finished, you carried it home on your shoulders.

My eyes, glazed and drunken looked at the screen and went....."I WANT THAT!!!".

A couple of years on, i am proud to say that dear Jenm, i have trainers......and boy.....you're right....they look so good in the box!

On Friday i shall be thinking of you, your journey with the history your Father must have had, and gave you. I shall also take time to remember why i am thinking of you, because your journey and the love that you shared with me in my beginnings in the family here, empowered me to stay alive. Seriously.

1 last thing Jenm..... Re "sugar coating".....sober alcoholics and sweeties?, i would sugar coat my guitar if my fingers didn't stick to it.

I shall pop round on Friday to see how you are.

Be restful, (not much chance of that), be peaceful, (too busy), be healthy, (what do you think i am doing!!?), but most of all, be strong. Loveness to you Jenm.
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