Thank you Alan and thank you Carly for such helpful and useful advice. I did happen to feel the need of A+E at 4am this morning. It began whilst i was in bed. I was not too worried about having a few shakes, but last night they became uncontrolable, my whole body was shaking, i could not get up and stand. I rung 999 from my phone next to my bed and the ambulance people where so, so very kind. They gave me an injection at home and took me in and i have been given thiamine and i now have some librium. They have also given me a prescription for "build up" drinks as i am massively underweight. I also have some information about SMART recovery that runs from my local hospital. As soon as i am well enough i shall go along to listen and learn. Carly, you are so right in that there is no harm whatsoever in "re-education". I also appreciate that the upcoming weeks will be where i need to learn to stay stopped, what my triggers are and learning to keep myself safe. I am extremely tearful quite alot of the time at the moment, and this is worrying me. I do not feel sorry for myself, but i have an overwhelming sense of sadness, what is that about? I feel as if i have been a "shell" for such a long time, i can see that now. Having worked in the feild for such a long time, my mentality is in "hiding" at the moment. I feel incredibly embarassed to be in this situation and mightily ashamed. I know these feelings are negative and will do me no good at all, but i simply can't help it. I believe it will pass as i believe the poison within me from this awful drug alcohol, covers physical, phsycological and my emotional well being. I simply need to stay dry, hour by hour and things will improve. Thank you all for your amazing support. Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong.
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