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Unread 10-19-2015, 12:29 PM   #1
maureenc
Junior Member
 
Posts: 2
Default Frustrated with my 25 year old son...long.

Hi. I'm new to this forum and only recently found it. I read a lot of your posts and for the first time in a long time I don't feel alone. I know I have to find an Al Anon group but I wanted to write to you all as well. My son is 25 and has been struggling with alcohol addiction for some time now. I'd say at least since age 19-20 (that I know of, but I now know it's been going on before that). For the last 5 years or so, it's been like walking on eggshells for me because any time I am around him, he's some level of drunk. It could be as little as a couple of beers or as much as several beers and a half a 1/5 of Jack Daniels or something. He is a very angry drunk and I tend to be his verbal punching bag when he's drunk and it seems to be worse when he drinks the hard liquor vs the beer. He's verbally abusive to me to the point that he calls me names that no child should ever call their mother. He's yelled at me and disrespected me in public where he just gets loud and wants the other people around to hear him. It's humiliating. He's screamed at the top of his lungs at me in the car and it's worse if I refuse to take him to buy more booze or take him to a place that serves alcohol. He blames me for all that's wrong with his life, he blames me for choices I made when he was young. Don't get me wrong, the child never wanted for anything and I'm sorry I was a single mom but it is what it is. I had to work two jobs and he resents me for all of it. I can't change the past and did the best I could with what I was dealt. When around others he's rude, starts swearing and running his mouth, shows no respect for anyone around him. It's gotten so bad that quite honestly I really don't want to see him right now or for the foreseeable future. Nobody wants to be around him. It's so hard because as a parent you want to help your kid but I know I've been enabling him. He also lays such guilt trips on me that I feel like I need to help him. He's on his second DUI and he has a whole army of designated drivers; so he just gets 3 sheets to the wind constantly. He hides nippers in his pockets so even if he's just drinking beer suddenly he's a huge jerk and I know he somehow got the hard liquor into himself. I'm so beyond frustrated, angry, hurt. I'm tired of being disrespected and yelled at by him. He's had a recent loss in his family which is just making this 10x worse. I'm at my wits end and so is my sister who also spends a lot of time with him and helped me raise him. But the bottom line is he needs to get help or he's going to lose everyone around him. I'm worried he's going to do something to hurt himself or someone else. I've never dealt with anyone before who acts like this and sadly he's my child. He's always had major OCD issues and I just fear this is another manifestation of that. He lives with his grandmother (father's mother) who is a Class A enabler and refuses to see it. I'm getting blamed by her and others in that family and told that me and his father (we are divorced since my son was 2) have to "do something about it". I can't let him live with me. There is no way as he lies and is untrustworthy. Not to mention my husband would divorce me because he hates the way my son treats me. Sorry for the long vent but I just needed to put this out there and once I started typing I couldn't stop. This is just the tip of the iceberg.....so much more to each and every point above. Thanks for listening...
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