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Unread 07-03-2014, 09:19 PM   #2
R. Lee
Senior Member
Posts: 4,984

Sestra, Welcome to this ite. You are in the right place.

I speak as a recovering alcoholic who drank for 42 years. I roared through family friends & everyone who got in my way. Life was all about me. I was divorced 3 times, fired from my job only to get it back through arbitration. I was a liar cheat & a thief. I was mentally abusive to my oldest son who is now 46. I lived in MI while 3 children from my 1st wife lived in CA. I paid my child support on time. To me that was being a good father. Come to find out that my 45 year old daughter was abused sexually by a stepfather for several years when she was around 10. She did not tell anyone about it until she was in her 30s. I was not part of her life to protect her from this kind of abuse.

I tried to stop drinking in 1982 when I was fired. 1984 to get back with my 1st wife that lived in CA. She was in recovery. Both these times I did not drink for 7 months only to go back when I got my job back my X wife & children. I started drinking again in 1984 & continued to drink for 20 more years. Meanwhile I worked 2 jobs & completed 9 marathons. In 2004 I had by pass surgery. I quit drinking for 4 months. I started drinking again after gaining my health back. I drank for 7 more weeks before I realized I could no longer live like that. You can see my pattern. I was never grateful for anything. Life was all about my wants. I was a miserable man hating to look at myself in the mirror.

I needed a support group of other recovering alcoholics to get sober & remain sober since 2004.

Your sobriety is the most important thing in your life. If you are not sober you will end up just like the rest of your family. I know you know that. You have done the right thing to cut off family ties as hard as it is.

You are still mourning the loss of your soul mate your sister. Time can always heal that. You have proved that because you do not cry about her as often like before.

You are an amazing person. A sober person who is lucky enough to have a man in your life who supports you & is willing to help you through your P.T.S.D.

Never give up on your love ones getting the gift of sobriety that we have, BUT they have to want it for themselves. We can not get anyone sober.

I have been able to forgive myself as I work on my sobriety everyday. My character defects have been a work in progress. It is not easy to change how we think & act after living the way I did until I was almost 61.

There are support groups like Al Anonn for the family of alcoholics. You have taken a big step coming in here to share your experience strength & hope.

Keep coming back. My best to you. R. Lee

Last edited by R. Lee; 07-03-2014 at 09:26 PM..
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