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Unread 06-09-2016, 08:23 PM   #16
Rockinsteady
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Thank you for your support! My nine-month mark was yesterday and I'm proud of it. Roses were my answer to the whining voice in my head saying "It's been a horrible day, so I DESERVE." It's easy to fill in that blank with "a drink," and certainly I have done that in the past. I was proud that I was able to do healthy things instead, not to mention keep my head on straight and gain some perspective on the challenges I was facing. Alcohol always made my perspectives worse, and never really made me feel a hell of a lot better anyway. One of my coworkers expressed admiration for how I was dealing with the work-related problem I was having, saying that I was dealing with it "like an adult" (she is a social worker so I particularly value it, coming from her) and I think that's one thing that being alcohol-free lets us do: to be braver and more level-headed. I should add that I've also been reading a little self-help book about patience, and that's another powerful tool to give myself the freedom to respond how I truly want to, rather than lashing back automatically. I definitely am not perfect on that by a long shot, but at least I'm not drinking anymore, and that is a HUGE help in that arena.

I did have another alcohol nightmare the other night. It was one of the most common type I've had, by far. It was one of the ones where I just FORGET that I don't drink anymore, and get partway into a cocktail etc. (it was red wine the other night) and think "Oh no, I accidentally broke my 'clean' streak, OMG oh no!" I feel scared at the idea of drinking again, but I guess I feel heartened that even in the dream I am very much against drinking. I've only had two dreams where I was drinking and was okay with it, and one of them was set in an apocalypse. I'm not kidding. I guess that means Hell will freeze over before I drink again? Do you guys have drinking nightmares too?
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