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Unread 03-01-2008, 11:49 PM   #1
14188
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Posts: 39
Default Anger/hate themselves?

Does anybody else out there hate themselves? I get so mad at myself for letting things go on like this. I hate myself for it, and then suddenly I am thinking about how I weigh too much, I'm too this, I'm too that, etc... Of course, he drinks becuase I don't give him enough sex (low libido due to antidepressants), so it is my fault. As you can tell, I need the antidepressants - sometimes I can hear the "I wish I were dead" voice in my head. I really don't - I would NEVER take my own life, but what I wouldn't give to have one our at complete peace. One hour of not worrying if my job is on the line, if he is down on me becuaes it has been 6 days since we've been intimate, not mad at myself becuase when he leaned down and kissed me goodbye today he also grabbed my chest.. He is so darn clueless. As if it makes me feel special when he treats me like a piece of meat. He leaves and I end up wiping my chest, as if I can wipe away his touch.

Does anybody else go through depressing/self hatred for putting up with their drinking?
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