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Unread 10-19-2015, 04:15 PM   #4
Junior Member
Posts: 7

I've never really experienced being disrespected by my own child...and I beg the heavens this never happen to me. But I do know how this looks like, my uncle behaved the same way. The sun's barely up and he's already drunk. Yelled at my grandma if food wasn't on the table yet, blaming her for things that didn't make any sense like - his early marriage (and the early destruction of that marriage), not forcing him to college (my grandfolks funded his education but he wasted that and went drinking instead of attending his classes). He called my grandma irresponsible and useless, pointing at her amputated leg. Even as a child, I felt my grandma's misery, and all I could do was give her a hug.

You are putting up with a lot so don't think you're a bad mother. We can only do so much for people who refuse to help themselves. It's difficult to see any progress happening to him in the near future, especially around enablers. Eventually, even his grandma will grow tired of enabling him. At that point, you have to be stronger... do not give him money or buy more booze. He doesn't need those stuff to survive...he needs them to be comfortable. Allow me to quote a former addict:

"If I don't want to stop getting high you still can't strap me down and cure me. It IS up to the person that is an addict to want to get clean and go down that path. That is why we destroy our lives and everyone's around us until we have nothing left to destroy. An addict has to be ready and willing to quit, no one else in the world can persuade them otherwise."

As hard it is to accept, but it's the truth. We can only hope that he "wakes up" soon and reach out for help. Don't allow him to destroy you too, because when he is good and ready, he will need a family to get back to. he will need you to be there. When that time comes, my advice is to get him professional help. There are a lot of treatment programs out there using different approaches.

I wish you all the best. I hope I was able to help.
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