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Unread 01-25-2011, 09:49 PM   #17
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I must agree with alot of what Carlos has said. Do I think AA has worked for people? Yes, I believe it has, I have 2 parents and a step father who've been active in AA since I've been alive. I've also seen to of them go back out in active addiction on more then 1 occasion. But it seems to be what has worked for them, and the fact that my parents are here and alive today is what counts in my book.

With that said...2 years ago, I attended a 30 day rehab which was 12 step based. At the time I was in bad WD's and just needed somewhere to go to help me get thru it and help me get out of active addiction. At the time I entered treatment, I wasn't against trying a 12 step program to help me keep my addiction in remission...why should I be, being I've seen it work for the most part to 3 of the closest people in my life. This treatment center also used Suboxone for detoxing all patients addicted to opiates and herion...but were very much against anyone using Sub for long term treatment. I was told on more then one occasion how people can't use sub long term b/c all it does is lead to addiction and doesn't work.

Anyway, after the worst of my WD's was over and I was able to actually listen and focus on the treatment plan they laid out for me, I realized that these people were using the fact that I was an "addict" and only "sober" for less then 30 days as something against me, and honestly belittled me. They were the "experts" and we all knew nothing, and their way, the 12 step program, is the ONLY way anyone has ever been able to stay sober. As my 30 days came closer and closer, I had so much anger in me from the way the people there spoke to us and made us feel like we were ignorant and unable to do anything, I honestly felt like the treatment center was more of a cult then a place to help me get better. They admitted that only 2-3 of us in the room (of probably around 75+ people) would make it out there without relapsing and going back into active addiction. So if they knew this already, why did they drill their ways of doing it in our head, and why did I spend SO much money ono being admitted to this place with them KNOWING I would probably fail once I got out?!

I tried to attend meetings once I got out tho, b/c I was going to show those people (especially my case worker who told me straight to my face I was not going to make it) that I could do it, and I would! I felt so uncomfortable at every meeting I attended b/c I felt like an outsider, and it was so hard to find someone willing to talk with me in a friendly way, how on earth was I suppose to find a sponsor?

I guess those people were right, b/c within 6 weeks I was back in active addiction. I read the big book, did the step work, got rid of old contacts and things that cause cravings. I still was unable to succeed in their 12 step world. It's not eay, and I knew it wasn't for me, but I wanted so bad for it to work for me b/c I knew if I relapsed it could be my last chance and I may not have made it out again alive. So, I found AA/NA was not for me. The way they ran it, the step work they said you had to do, which I didn't see the purpose in. I find that being on Sub, seeing my doctor monthly, doing meetings online, seeing a therapist, and continuing to work on changing my life on a day to day basis make far more sense to me then the 12 steps ever did.

I am happy to still have my parents, and I see them active in the 12 steps and going to meetings on a regular basis. If it's what works for them and it's what keeps them here in life with me, then more power to them! It's not easy tho, and it took a lot of time away from me while I was growing up and gave me many resentments b/c my mother went to meetings and was closer to her sponsor then she was my sister and I. I just can't see something like that taking all of my time and me having to run my world around it. I really agree with majority of what Carlos has posted. But even tho I don't agree with the way the program is, and def don't believe that the treatment center I went to should be ran the way it is...I know that it has saved peoples lives. But I've also seen it work more with people who had alcohol addictions WAY more then people who were addicted to pain pills or herion.

Just my 2 cents on it all.
We can't change the past, we can only make the future better!
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