Thread: so lost again
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Unread 02-02-2015, 03:10 PM   #1
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Posts: 1
Question so lost again

Hello. I don't know where to start. I guess I'm a recovering meth addict. I had been sober (besides alcohol) for 9 years up until about 3 weeks ago. The guy I'm seeing smokes crack. I knew about this and thought I could handle it. I pushed so hard for him to give a relationship a shot I guess I didn't want to start telling him what to do. Everything else about him is perfect, but this isn't about him. I got high with him one night and I didn't think about it again for a week or so. I figured if he can do it recreationaly I should be able to too. So I kept getting high, always with him. He likes to be alone when he smokes and I guess that hurt my ego. I got angry every time he was doing it because I couldn't have some. I then started smoking on my own. Now I can't stop. I am spending all my money, treating my boyfriend like shit, going into work late, and even smoking in the bathroom at work. I don't want to go down the path I worked so hard to stay off of. I'm a mess. I don't know what to do. I hate that he can do it once or twice a month with no consequences at all. I get so upset that I start craving it, getting shakey, with sweaty palms and I break down and buy some. I got high last night even after he asked me not to. I went out on my own. I don't know what to do.I was so good for 9 years. Now it's all slipping away before my eyes. Any advice would be very appreciated. Thank you.
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