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-   -   Sober 11 years (http://www.addictionsurvivors.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=30122)

R. Lee 09-05-2015 02:23 PM

Sober 11 years
 
Today I celebrate 11 years sober.

After drinking for 42 years I never gave myself a chance to stay sober.

I stay in today, Thinking through that 1st urge to drink.

I have made my amends for the damage I had caused. It is up to those I hurt to forgive me. I have let my past go.

Staying in today I do not worry about staying sober the rest of my life. That thought of staying sober for the rest of my life is just to much to comprehend. So I keep it simple.

Tryntryagain 09-05-2015 02:41 PM

Oh goodness. Dear R Lee.

I can not comprehend your achievement, so i will not try.

I can however give my gratitude for the fellow here in dear ole Blighty, that stayed alive through your annoying persistence of telling me to think through the first drink.

It really, really kept me going.

All folk in their community's talk about those that really make a difference. In whatever sphere.

R Lee, you have touched lives from all over the world. Your stoicism and rock for those that are lost in alcohol, but wish to find safe haven, in pieces addiction survivors sometimes are, you scoop them up with love and experience.

Lets just stop and think.

We are here because of alcohol, and what it does. Dear R Lee 11 years sober.

Not only are you a rock, but there is a lighthouse built on it.

Thank you R Lee. I don't really "do congrats", i do hugs. You give me strength. It is possible.

My loveness i can not express. Hugs R Lee

R. Lee 09-05-2015 04:51 PM

Tryn, 11 years ago I sat across from a guy who had 90 days. I could not imagine not drinking for 90 days even though I had gone 7 months before. Someone told me to just do this 1 day at a time & the sober days will add up.

We can do this together. I can not stay sober alone.

HUGS Tryn!

jditoday 09-05-2015 08:04 PM

Wow..that is a staggering number. Congrats!

Hey...think through that first drink!

lostdog 09-06-2015 10:12 AM

Congrats and Luv and hugs to you R. Lee, quite an accomplishment. You are in a good recovery program and not just staying sober, you work hard and give to us. Hope that makes sense in a total complimentary way!

gmasusie 09-06-2015 11:34 AM

RLee,

No matter what is happening in your life, you are always here for us. Thank you.

Love, Susie

Saint 09-06-2015 01:43 PM

Rlee,
Congratulations on your continued sobriety!!

Thank you for all the support you have given me over the years. I continue learn from you, learn how to stay sober, learn how to live life sober And enjoy it.

Thank you for all you do, not just here but in your community!

Regards,
Saint

NancyB 09-06-2015 01:57 PM

Congratulations R. Lee! You're such an inspiration to everyone in the family here; and I'm sure to the many who always read but never post. :)

Nancy

Sam Bailey 09-06-2015 02:07 PM

Hey RLee!

Dude! (Again, quoting my son, ha!)

Dude!! Way...to...go!

Good for you RLee. Even though it took a long time for you to wake-up, wake up 'n sober up, you are doing such a good job of it now. No, maybe not always easy, but always good---one day at a time.

best,

sam

jenm 09-06-2015 02:21 PM

Hi R Lee!

Wow. Praise the Lord for you!!! You show me how it is done, and I am very grateful for you. Love, Jenm

R. Lee 09-06-2015 04:30 PM

Thank you to everyone.

nan 09-06-2015 09:14 PM

R.Lee, Thank you for all you help here and in your community. Support is so important, everyone needs somebody to stand up for them and be there, no matter what. You are that person, for sure. 11 years, one day at a time. Good for you!

nan

R. Lee 09-07-2015 04:59 PM

Thank you all so much. I only mention my sober time to show that it can be done. It all can go away with just picking up 1 drink. Love, R. Lee

iamtrying 09-07-2015 05:07 PM

Congrats!! Rlee , you inspire me...that is a long road travelled...one day at a time...truly it works. Thank you for you support and showing the path...

R. Lee 09-07-2015 06:21 PM

Thank you iamtrying. You show me & others around here how to do this thing called sobriety.

Tryntryagain 09-17-2015 11:05 AM

Good afternoon R Lee. Bright blessings to you.

I just thought appropriate, with the nights drawing in, and some us of us find this time of year difficult for all manner of reasons. The upcoming seasons that can hold misery or joy, that choice is hard sometimes. That is why we are here.

It can be spring, summer, autumn or winter, you are here with strength, whatever the weather.

The simplest ways need listening to harder than the complicated ways. For example, you all "help" me stay sober, translates as "if you want that help".

I have, (infamously) been drunk in the past with my rage and anger. Anger has no eloquence. It is why it is so destructive. It does not just do what it says on the tin, it "ONLY" does what it says on the tin. Eventually.

The simple thing?...simple...i had to want to be, then get, sober.

Now. All that was a roundabout way of asking how you are dear R Lee? How are you coping with your days to days? Are you measuring up for "Santa outfits for Christmas?". Just a thought. It would tie in very nicely with "giving" me my usual really supply of logs my friend. (Same deal as last year...you know the one?....i stay alive for another year i get free logs?....remember?).

As much as i admire your humility, i love you for all the things you would never admit to.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you R Lee.

gmasusie 09-17-2015 11:35 AM

Ditto, RLee. We all need you here. Did you know I have the same birthday as Robert E. Lee? Are you related?

Tryntryagain 09-17-2015 12:43 PM

Hello again dear R Lee. Bright blessings to you.

Susie, you mean Euguine Lee.....the famous logger? If the saws became blunt he would just bite the thing in half. Beaver familys would bring their little ones out of the rivers to watch. So they did.

Just wondering?

Loveness to you both

gmasusie 09-17-2015 04:52 PM

Is that a bedtime story?

Tryntryagain 09-18-2015 06:18 AM

Good morning dear R Lee. Bright blessings to you.

Dearest Susie, a bedtime story? Can you imagine the bedtime storys R Lee could come up with?

Loveness to you Both.

R. Lee 09-18-2015 10:29 AM

Susie, My last name is not Lee. Lee is my middle.

Tryn, My bed time storys probably be nightmares.

Tryntryagain 09-18-2015 11:24 AM

Good afternoon R Lee. Bright blessings to you.

I have no doubt all of us could settle down to bedtime storys that are and have been our nightmares. The reason we are still here, are the truly amazing storys.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you R Lee.

R. Lee 09-18-2015 03:31 PM

Hugs to you Tryn.

Frankie 10-10-2015 11:19 PM

I would ask how you did it, but I think I know the answer. Take care Lee, and I wish you all the best!

gmasusie 10-11-2015 12:16 AM

Frankie, it is so good to hear from you. Don't be such a stranger!

R. Lee 10-11-2015 10:46 AM

Frankie, I love & miss you. Yes you know how I did this 1 day at a time.

No matter what is going on with you please come in share. You can do this.

Have a great day!!

SecretTiger 10-16-2015 11:14 AM

RLee, you're such an inspiration here, and I'm so glad I found this family. Every time I want to drink I hear your words and think through it. You give me the strength to do that. I'm also seeking group support because it's not always easy.

Thank you.

Frankie 10-16-2015 10:06 PM

Hi Lee, gmasusie, all,

Still trying to get in the mood to get in the mood to get serious. Glad to see all/most of the family is still here. Maybe I will try to take my own advice and pull this sight up every day. Love to all.

R. Lee 10-16-2015 10:10 PM

Thanks SecretTiger. Pull us up Frankie even if you don't post. I know others & myself love and care about you. You know you can do this.

Tryntryagain 10-17-2015 06:31 AM

Good morning dear R Lee. Bright blessings to you.

Welp, you know what i think of you, yet it never hurts to say. I love you to bits because you are you. No more, no less. Where i looked up to you, now i listen whilst i look into you. I have never had such a consistent and honest influence in my life. Knowing me, you will therefore know your meaning to me. Sustained sobriety our goal, how lucky we are to have examples to follow.

FRANKIE! Bright blessings to you! JUMP ON BOARD......all life is here.

Hear Hear! R Lee, i too love and care for Frankie.

See dear R Lee?......winners do their best to stick with winners.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. My Loveness to you dear R Lee

R. Lee 10-17-2015 01:13 PM

Thank you Tryn. I feel the same about you.

iamtrying 10-17-2015 02:00 PM

Thank you Rlee for all your support. You inspire me and lot of others here. Good day.

Frankie 10-17-2015 02:07 PM

Hi ya tryn,

I haven't been keeping up on things here to say the least, so how have you been? Been sober for a while? Do you still love buss drivers? Ha! I'm trying to get to the forum every day. Take care.

R. Lee 10-17-2015 07:40 PM

Frankie, This is iamtrying not Try, an easy mistake. Come in & join us.

Frankie 10-18-2015 11:56 AM

Duh!

lostdog 11-03-2015 06:46 PM

on Tryn's post you said you were struggling a bit and I know your a backbone and very strong , but post about you when you feel anything

gmasusie 11-03-2015 11:25 PM

Thanks, LD, for thinking of RLee. She's right, you know.

R. Lee 11-04-2015 10:28 AM

Thank, thank you.

lostdog 12-24-2015 10:03 AM

lots of luv for the holidays to you....

gmasusie 12-30-2015 10:04 PM

RLee, are you OK? Sometimes I guess we take you for granted, but of course, you have problems just like the rest of us. I am thinking of you, my friend.

R. Lee 12-30-2015 11:17 PM

Susie, Thanks for asking. Like most I have had problems. Our daughter still wants nothing to do with us so Christmas has been upsetting. Her son our grandson is in the Navy was home on leave from Washington State & never contacted us. We were a big part of his raising & it hurts. I have to be willing to accept this behavior & have not had the urge to drink over it.
My mother is 96 & in a nursing home. She has been declining for several months. We were able to bring her home for Xmas. She no longer has the will to live. I am too aware knowing what will probably happen with her outlook. Other than that we are well. I hope you have had a good holiday season dealing with your loss. Think of you often. Love R. Lee

gmasusie 12-31-2015 12:05 AM

RLee,

I think of you, too. My heart goes out to all our vets. You have given so much and suffered so much. I am so sorry about your daughter and grandson. Family means the most and hurts the most.

When the will to live is gone, we have to respect others' choices. Again, that is not ours to control.

I can honestly feel your spirit.

May you find some peace.

Tryntryagain 12-31-2015 05:34 AM

Good morning dear R Lee. Bright blessings to you.

I specifically empathise with your hurt around your daughter and grandson. In my experience the hurt that is there now, will be felt again in the years to come. When your daughter gets older and wiser i wager she will know in her heart there are no winners here yet as you have taught me over these years, you just can not vouch for other peoples choices and decisions.

I am so glad you have not been urged to drink through these challenges.

Always all my loveness to you dear R Lee

Sam Bailey 12-31-2015 11:11 AM

Hey R Lee,

So darned sorry for the family issues you're facing. No matter what the dynamics of those issues, it hurts when those you love are absent from your life. And when they choose to be absent, well I imagine it's 10X worse.

The mistakes you made during your drinking years are all past tense, all historical happenings. Can't do a damn thing about them, except to live your life today doing the next right thing.

That YOU are doing just that is a wonderful testament to your character, to the YOU existing today.

Nonetheless, I'm still sorry that you're feeling this kind of heartache, during the Holidays...or, actually, anytime.

My father and I were estranged when he died. A complex, complicated story. perhaps I'll share it sometime. For now though, my point being: damn the dynamics, I SO wish I had gone to him and did whatever I had to do, if it were possible, and made peace.

I know, even in the end, that he and I loved each other enormously. However, despite the truth of that, I have such a raw, deep pain due to what I SHOULD have done...and did not do...that at times my entire body aches.

I suspect that your own kids will feel similarly. Though God willing, maybe he'll come to his senses and then...come knocking on your door.

I hope so.

best,

sam

Sam Bailey 12-31-2015 04:20 PM

Hey R Lee,

Sorry. I said "he" when I shoulda said "she." It's your daughter you were discussing, then your grandson.

Not that big of a deal, I guess---but it is your life and I definitely want to be accurate and, in my own head, re: your life, clear about your life.

Anyway. Apologies.

sam

lostdog 12-31-2015 06:00 PM

I'm sorry about the holidays for you with the circumstances in your family. You deserve only the best for you. I hope that one day your daughter and grandson can reach out to you and your mom has peaceful days ahead. It does happen when and it is sad when the will goes away, but sometimes it is part of the last stages of life. Maybe they can get her some meds for depression, too. I have seen the ups and downs in my family as when my dad cussed out my brother at Christmas for being late. It took two years, but he did come around again and I know it can happen to reunite, so there is always hope.

R. Lee 01-01-2016 12:37 PM

No problem Sam. I did not even see it. I posted about my problems to show everyone that no one goes with out problems & I need to share mine. Thanks to everyone who has or will respond.

gmasusie 01-01-2016 10:18 PM

Thinking of you, RLee.

Tryntryagain 02-28-2016 08:45 AM

Good afternoon my dear R Lee. Bright blessings to you.

Ummmm....i just want you to know that i am thinking of you, hoping that you are coping as best you can. I certainly know that on my journey your influence keeps me alive and i hope that i show how dreadfully important you are to me in my life, and i have not the slightest doubt to many others.

As my dearest Susie's last letter says....thinking about you my dearest R Lee.

All the love that is within Tryn i want you to have.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you my dearest R Lee

R. Lee 02-28-2016 10:42 AM

Thank you Tryn.


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