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michaelc232 11-29-2013 02:25 PM

90 Days Sober
 
I am 90 days sober today, and figured I would start a new thread. I am so excited that I have made it this far. To all of you on here who have helped me along my journey, thank you! Blessings.

Michael

R. Lee 11-29-2013 03:24 PM

Michael, Ninety days sober what a milestone. Congratulations on your sobriety.

I'm remember when I walked into my 1st meeting this last time there was a guy with ninety days. I said to myself how can I ever do that? I did it keeping it simple, going to meetings, getting a sponsor & taking it one day at a time.

Keep doing what you have been doing Michael.

Saint 11-30-2013 03:15 AM

Congrats on 90 days Michael!!! You reap the results of all your hard work.

Peace,
Saint

RIX 11-30-2013 08:31 AM

Awesome work Michael!! 90 days is huge!! I echo Rlee: keep it simple, you are doing this!

Great job!

rix

Frankie 11-30-2013 02:17 PM

I can't believe how time flies, but you did it Michael! For me it was the advice from this forum, but I still had to keep my head down and actually follow through not knowing when or if the urge would leave me, but it did, and not too far from where you are at now. All the best!

Frank

michaelc232 11-30-2013 03:22 PM

Thanks Everyone!!! You all are the best!

Tryntryagain 11-30-2013 04:05 PM

Hello Michael. Bright blessings to you.

My heart, my hands and a tip of my hat are all yours. 90 days!! You know i can remember not believing i could stop until i got to the fridge.

How times can change my friend. You have changed them.

Huge respect.

Loveness to you Michael.

michaelc232 11-30-2013 11:01 PM

Thanks Tryn!
Hitting this milestone has caused me to look back at what I have accomplished the last 90 days. I have gotten involved in a new business, and am already seeing the potential of profit. I have forgiven many people from my past, and have removed bitterness from my daily life. I have begun a new job where I am always on time, and always give my best performance. And I have started pursuing my weight loss goals again, and am back in shape. And all of this was possible because you guys never gave up on me! Thank you all so much! I look forward to sharing my journey of continued sobriety with you all.

nan 12-01-2013 06:10 AM

michaelc232, I so proud of you for working the program. You certainly have accomplished a lot in the last 90 days, yes, indeed!

Keep it up, one day at a time. I am happy for you.

nan

michaelc232 12-01-2013 11:07 PM

Thanks Nan!

jenm 12-02-2013 08:34 AM

Hey Michael!

I agree with my mom (nan). She is not only a huge supporter here, but is and has been the biggest supporter and cheerleader I have EVER had! When I fell down ( and I fell A LOT) she has ALWAYS been there to pick me up. Always. Without judgment, and with a lot of love. I am so blessed. I love you Mom.

Congratulations Michael on 90 days. This is a big deal!!! Be grateful for today and give praise and thanks to Him - the One who is in charge of everything. Take care! :) Jenm

michaelc232 12-02-2013 09:55 PM

Thank you Jen! You are awesome!

Today, towards the end of my shift, a little lady shuffled into my convenience store. As I was getting ready to do some cleaning, she walked up to me. In a frustrated, desperate voice, she asked "Are these the only single cans you guys have for beer?" "Yes mam," I replied as I looked down to see a thirty something year old woman, who looked like she was in her early fifties. Her face was drooped and lifeless, her eyes had dark circles and bags under them, and her fist clenched the last of her change she had scrounged up before coming to the store. I found her a can that she could afford, and rang her up. As she walked out the door my heart broke, because I know that 93 days ago, that was me. I am once again reminded of the hard, grim effects of alcoholism. If you find the time, perhaps send a prayer to your higher power for that suffering woman, that she will find the help she needs. Blessings.

Michael

Tryntryagain 12-03-2013 06:22 AM

Hello Michael, bright blessings to you.

Thank you for such a touching post. I am found on my little journey of sobriety that alcohol seems to be all around me. Like buying a "red car", all of sudden you see them everywhere! The fields i work in often alcohol is the prescurser to whatever problems they are encountering and on Friday mornings i work in the city at a homeless hostel. I start at 11am to run a drop in, and each week i have to walk through maybe 10-15 men, mostly in their 40's all sitting outside drinking. Whne i leave in the afternoon they are all drunk. They chose not to come and see me, it is their choice. I spent 3 decades not caring about what i was doing to myself. I was so selfish, but i did not know it, of course now i do. It is always heartbreaking seeing a fellow alcoholic still drinking and still suffering. If only they could reach out, there is recovery out there for every single one of us, whoever we are, however long we have been drinking and whatever we have done, recovery, honesty, forgiveness and acceptance is there for all of us, we just need to want it so very much.

93 days sober!!! You are an inspiration Michael.

Loveness to you my friend.
Tryn

R. Lee 12-03-2013 03:49 PM

Michael, There are so many suffering alcoholics out there just looking how they will find that next drink. We pray for them at every meeting.

michaelc232 12-07-2013 12:21 AM

Thank you Tryn and R.Lee!

So I went to our church's Young Adults Christmas Party tonight, and had a blast! I don't think I have laughed this much in over a year. We ate, played games, told funny stories and jokes and just had a great time. I remember that when I was drinking, I hardly ever had fun with a group of people. I was always either too hazy to function socially, or more focused on the get-together ending so that I could go home and drink. Tonight I just had fun, and it was great.
I am actually sitting on my bed right now, and across the room from me is my mirror. I can truly say that I am not the same person anymore. My face has perked up and regained all of it's life. My cheeks are no longer sunken in, and my facial outline has slimmed. I look good, I feel great, and my life has purpose again.
Thank you so much to all of you who always told me "It get's better," "One day at a time," "Life can be good without alcohol," "Your life is worth more than this," "You don't have to live this way anymore." Those beautiful seeds of sobriety, planted again and again, finally bloomed inside of me on September 3rd 2013. After 3 days of trying and trying to get alcohol, and all attempts failing, I was forced to take a clean, sober look at my sorry life. Then and there I decided that I was done. Today, I could buy alcohol if I wanted to, I simply don't want to. That is my Christmas Miracle this year. Blessings!

Michael

Tryntryagain 12-07-2013 02:05 PM

Hello Michael, bright blessings to you.

Life, my friend brings all manner of miracles, walking out the door will prove it.

Alcoholics that drink walk out their door and see stuff for sure, but not what is. When you wonder why the birds song in the morning on the way to work is an inspiration, not a hinderance, is dependent on sobriety. I know this forum is about experiences and journeys, but surely, no one can deny that experience with drink, and without it, is entirely different?

Michael, i am absolutely over the moon that you are experiencing the feelings that i was so afraid of, and are not so bad. There is no magic, wanting a life is hard work, but goodness me, isn't it worth it.

If you could do me a little favour?

Look into your heritage....see if there is any English at all...., (a colonial Country will do), and see if you can play cricket for England. Do it now.......they need you tomorrow!!

Be peaceful, and keep being strong. Loveness to you Michael.

michaelc232 12-07-2013 06:19 PM

Thank you so much Tryn! And yes, it is hard work, but so worth it! For me, it has been so much about creating new, good habits. A leadership speaker that I really enjoy once said, "Bad habits are easy to develop, and hard to live with. Good habits are hard to develop, and easy to live with."
I am positive that I have plenty of English running through my bloodline, but I'm afraid I have never learned how to play Cricket. LOL! Blessings!

Michael

Tryntryagain 12-08-2013 12:51 PM

Hello Michael. Bright blessings to you.

Indeed prophetic words my friends. I simply delight in your clarity and gracious progress.

What do you mean you have "plenty of English blood running through your bloodline, but have never learned to play cricket?"

My friend, neither has the 11 playing now, get yer coat!!

Be peaceful and be strong. Loveness to you Michael.

R. Lee 12-08-2013 05:11 PM

Michael & Tryn you both are doing so well. keep up the work of staying sober & helping the new alcoholic who comes in here.

gmasusie 12-10-2013 01:16 PM

Michael, I am so happy for you. You do not know how much your concern for others has touched me. It's good to be home.

GmaSusie

julie48 12-10-2013 01:37 PM

What a wonderful attitude of gratitude Michael. I am so proud and happy for you. And it WILL keep getting better!!! You sound marvelous and you should be so proud!!! Merry Christmas. Julie :D

michaelc232 12-10-2013 08:29 PM

Thank you so much everyone! Gmasusie, we're glad your back!

michaelc232 12-12-2013 03:43 PM

Hey everyone. I honestly don't have anything big going on, I just wanted to stop by and say hello. Although I am loving being sober, and loving my new life, I miss chatting with everyone here. I love all you guys!

Michael

Saint 12-12-2013 04:03 PM

Michael,

Stop by and chat any time..... Share the good as well!

Regards,
Saint

R. Lee 12-12-2013 04:24 PM

Michael by stopping in to say how you are doing shows the new person it can be done.

Tryntryagain 12-16-2013 10:07 AM

Hello Michael, bright blessings to you.

My friend you say "you honestly haven't got anything big going on".....i beg to differ! You have got sobriety going on.......for us it does not get bigger than that!!

So chuffed for you Michael, drop in when you can and tell us what it feels like for you.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you, you are a guiding light to others.

michaelc232 12-16-2013 12:56 PM

Thank you Saint, R.Lee, and Tryn. And you are right, sobriety is a huge deal! It is such a blessing!
I just got finished with an intense cardio workout. I have no doubt that I am going to go all the way this time, and achieve my fitness goals! It's crazy how much smaller life's challenges seem, once you have stepped out of addiction into sobriety. As my Pastor always says "Take down your biggest giant, and the rest of them will all run scared."
What's really crazy to me, is when I look at a suffering alcoholic, I just want to shake them and tell them to quit! I want to tell them that life is better without alcohol, so suck it up and stop drinking. But then I have to remind myself how I acted when people told me the same things...... lol! When people told me to "Suck it up" I followed their orders directly. I went down to the local liquor store, bought a bottle of vodka, and promptly sucked it all up.
I guess I just have to remember that the suffering alcoholic is in a different realm than I am. They live in a reality where problems are 10x worse than they actually are, and emotions fluctuate at the drop of a hat. I feel for them, and cry for them, but I can't do anything for them until they want it. What a devastating disease this is...... I am so grateful for today, and so glad to be sober. Blessings!

Michael

R. Lee 12-17-2013 11:05 AM

Michael, As you know shaking them would do no good. They have to want to get sober for themselves. You are doing so well. Keep it up.

michaelc232 12-18-2013 12:57 AM

So, today as I was working the cash register at the Convenience Store I work at, something kinda weird happened. I was filling out some paperwork to the side of my register, and saw someone approaching. Just as I was turning to face the customer, they slammed down a case of beer on the counter. I looked down at the beer, and caught a heavy whiff of alcohol that was lingering on the person. In that moment, a craving for alcohol went through my entire body, and every bone in my body wanted a drink. (side note: I never even liked beer when I did drink, I stuck to liquor). A few seconds later, a feeling of euphoria went through my entire body, as if I had actually taken a drink.
The reason that this is so weird, is because my customers come in drunk all the time, reeking of alcohol, and buying it by the truckload, and this has never happened to me before. And even after that initial incident, for the rest of the night when people would purchase alcohol, it would make me crave it. Up until tonight, it had probably been over a month since I experienced a craving.
Anyways, the whole ordeal was just weird, and I just felt like I should get it off my chest. I don't want to drink right now, and have no intention of doing so, but I felt like I should talk about this. Blessings.

Michael

R. Lee 12-18-2013 02:36 PM

Michael, The same thing happens to me now & then.

My brother invited me to come visit him in FL this winter. The 1st thing I thought of was going back to drinking beer with him. I can not afford to go see my brother in a drinking situation. I shared this to my sponsor last night.

People places & things will lead me down the path to drinking again.

Saint 12-18-2013 02:53 PM

Michael,

Those urges will come and they will come seemingly out of the blue. They are normal and the frequency and strength of those urges will diminish over time. It is important I think for you to share what is happening as you are doing. A support system, someone you can talk to can be crucial at times like these. The important thing is you did not drink!!! That one drink, one glass of wine at dinner, the cold beer during the summer it can all look so attractive because it has become ingrained in our minds as such. That is where thinking through that drink becomes critical, for me anyways. I would at times drink straight from a 2 liter bottle of tequila. My mind didn't have a problem with it but I think of what I must have looked like if someone was watching me.... well I looked like an alcoholic!!! : )

Think through that drink Michael and use your supports when you need them.

You're doing great!

Regards,
Saint

michaelc232 12-18-2013 03:02 PM

Thanks R.Lee and Saint! It is so good to know that this is normal. I have no craving to drink today, and life is good. :)
So, I weighed in this morning, and I have lost sixteen and a half pounds! My figure is starting to thin out, and I have never had so much energy! I feel absolutely fantastic!
One thing that I am discovering on this journey, is that sobriety is 10x easier if I have something that I am looking forward to, and something that I am working towards. I'm sure that this is true for most people, but I guess it just took me a while to figure it out for myself. If we are not moving forward, we become stagnant, and get into the rut of everyday living. But if we are constantly working on ourselves, whether it be emotional, physical or spiritual, we will always have a goal to reach, and a victory to celebrate. Having goals in front of me, makes my life seem worthwhile, and increases my positivity in all situations.
Just some thoughts that are going through my head today..... Blessings!

Michael

Ashwin 12-18-2013 11:52 PM

Nice... Michael you made me happy today! Such a pleasant surprise to come here and see your massive accomplishment. You are a winner 'one day at a time'. You help me stay sober.
I am very happy for you.

We could not manage our drinking, but we CAN manage our sobriety. So let's make the best out of it, one day at a time.

Much Love
Ashwin

Tryntryagain 12-21-2013 11:09 AM

Hello Michael. Bright blessings to you.

What an amazing year you have had. What progress, what acheivement. I hope you feel suitably proud of yourself!

I just want to wish your good self and your loved ones a wonderful and happy Christmas.

So proud of you my friend.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you Michael.

michaelc232 12-28-2013 07:38 AM

Hello all. I have had a couple of rough days, where the mood swings got the best of me, and I was pretty depressed. I know that it is from the PAWS, and is a sign that the brain is healing, but it still sucks. Today I feel much better.
I just got done pulling an overnight shift at my job because somebody called in, so I think I am going to try and get some sleep. Blessings!

Michael

Saint 12-28-2013 08:43 AM

Michael,

The holidays can be a tough time of year for a lot of people. I'm glad you're feeling better today and I do hope you are able to get some well deserved sleep! Nothing like a good night's sleep....

You've had a busy year Michael and have come such a long way. I always like to tell myself this little quote when I'm feeling down, "My worst day sober is better than my best day drunk". Keep working it Michael, you're doing great. Should you continue to feel depressed please let us know what's going on. Sometimes just talking about it is enough to get us over the rough spot!

Sleep well,
Saint

Tryntryagain 12-28-2013 11:25 AM

Hello Michael, bright blessings to you.

I reiterate Saints words. It has been such a momentus change for you over these months.....my friend....it does indeed take it out of you.

You are doing so, so well. If there is anything i would suggest is keep talking. Not only are you so eloquent, but i am so sure it helps you to tell us what you may consider to be "one of those things"....but you know me, i tell everyone all these silly little things to others, why?.....keeps me sober my friend. Simples.

Of course you are doing the right thing in that getting some shut eye, as Saint says, sleeping is so very good for us, (it is when our bodys heal), i hope you are sleeping or at least resting.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Big hug and Loveness to you Michael.

R. Lee 12-28-2013 02:21 PM

Michael, You did the right thing. Stayed busy & thought through that 1st drink. Work this one moment at a time.

michaelc232 12-28-2013 04:05 PM

Thank you everyone! After a good nights sleep, I am feeling so well. I am shifting over from the holidays, back to my regular routine. I think being off of my regular schedule for the holidays is what got me in the first place.
I'm about to blast some music and get my workout on! Blessings!

Michael

Saint 12-29-2013 10:04 AM

Michael,

So glad to hear you are exercising. There are days when I am tired or it's dreary and cold and I don't feel like running but I force myself out the door. I am always glad I did because I feel so much better after a good workout, physically and mentally.

AND IT"S HEALTHY!!!

There are good days and there are bad days but they are all best experienced sober!!!!!

You're doing great Michael.

Peace,
Saint

R. Lee 12-29-2013 08:37 PM

Michael, One more holiday & we are through this time of the year. keep doing what you have been doing. It is working.

Tryntryagain 12-30-2013 02:37 PM

Hello Michael. Bright blessings to you.

You are sounding strong whilst trying to adapt to the topsy turvy "timings" of Christmas. It will soon settle down and things will become more rewarding i'm sure. Keep focussed just as you are.

Loveness to you my friend.

michaelc232 12-30-2013 02:44 PM

Thank you everyone!!! Yall are always so encouraging.
So, a guy at work just got fired (stealing cigarettes) and I will be picking up most of his extra shifts. So most of my next two weeks will consist of working, and sleeping. But this is perfect, since I am saving up for a car. This will definitely boost my income up enough to get a vehicle soon. I hope everyone is doing great! Blessings!

Michael

R. Lee 12-30-2013 09:16 PM

Michael, See how living a clean &n sober life can turn things around. Keep it up.

Tryntryagain 12-31-2013 08:14 PM

Hello Michael. HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU!

I just want to say i am looking forward to carrying on our journey this year. Ups and downs, but such a worthwhile journey.

Loveness to you Michael.

michaelc232 01-02-2014 12:57 PM

Thank you R.Lee and Tryn! I am looking forward to it as well.
I weighed in this morning, and I have lost 20 lbs! I can't believe it! I feel great, and am starting to look better.
I have decided that I am going to Texas for my family reunion this year, and my work has already approved it. I can't wait to see everyone! I am keeping my weight loss a secret, because I am so looking forward to the look of shock on their faces when they see me.
Everything is going great, and I am so glad that the holidays are over! Blessings!

Michael

Tryntryagain 01-02-2014 06:50 PM

Hello Michael. Bright blessings to you.

I have always found positivity coming from you, i love a try...er. You give me so much strength my friend. I do however have something to impart....

I have dreampt about Texas. I soooo want to be there and see it. I want to drink water out of something that hurts, and make sure my horse has the "oommhh" to make it. Moreover, i want to have one of those stars i had as a kid on my shirt which meant i was the man, (there were no other men around~), but i never got the gun bit. ......I can draw and throw, before you can peel a bannana.

Loveness Michael

R. Lee 01-02-2014 07:39 PM

Michael, The promises are coming true. Good job.

michaelc232 01-02-2014 11:41 PM

LOL Tryn!!! I will make sure to take some pics while I am down there and post a link to them on here.
Thanks R.Lee! It is so nice to see them come true, and to have things to look forward to. Blessings!

Michael

michaelc232 01-04-2014 07:00 PM

Hey everyone, just wanted to stop by and check in.
I have worked the overnight shift for the last 2 nights, so my sleep schedule is a little off. I woke up this morning completely unmotivated, and just wanted to lay around. Then I realized today is a workout day, (I workout 3 days a week, and do yoga 4 days). So I grumbled my way down into my room, turned up my music and started working out. It was the hardest 30 minutes of my life.... Normally I breeze through the workout, with a few moments of intensity, but today it felt like I had a cement wall to push through. It's crazy how much harder it is to do something when your mind is not motivated.
But on the other hand, I am so proud of myself. The old me would have been like "Screw it, it's a Saturday, it's dreary outside, I deserve a break...." I would have pulled out my bag of excuses, picked the top 2 best ones, and settled back into the couch. The fact that I no longer accept excuses from myself, is such a huge step for me. For the first time ever, I am actually beginning to love myself.
Anyways, that's just what's going on in my world. Hope everyone else is having a great day! Blessings.

Michael.


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