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jekmimi 06-09-2010 09:38 AM

Need to go on antidepressants---can I, with Sub?
My husband of 25+ years told me yesterday that after our youngest daughter gets married in Aug., he is leaving me. He suffers from severe PTSD (Vietnam), but thinks any kind of counselling or therapy is only for stupid people. I have slaved for this man since I married him, raised children, did ALL the housework, made his favorite meals, had his coffee ready when he woke up from his nap (he's been retired for over 10 years and sleeps a lot~~sign of deep depression)----yes, the word "doormat" should be plastered on my forehead. I abused painkillers for many years, obviously b/c I myself was unhappy and desperate and held my emotions in for fear of his terrible temper. He has done everything in his power to separate me from my children by my first husband, calling them names, etc. in front of me. Our daughter that we had together sides with him b/c her temperament is somewhat like his (I feel sorry for her fiance!). Anyway, I shook myself off of the drugs by going on Suboxone last July and have never cheated or even thought of taking an opiate. I got no support from my husband, who, instead of trying to keep things calmer for me, has made himself into someone I almost don't know anymore. Since the "announcement" yesterday, I know I'm going to need to see a doctor and get counselling, but I am also suffering terrible stomach/anxiety pain. Can I use an antidepressant while on Sub? I'm going to need it b/c I tend to come completely apart at the seams. I've been a housewife since I had my first child in 1977 (my first marriage, also to a master manipulator)---that's a long time to go without "working". How can I look for a job while on Suboxone? Will anyone hire me? How can I look for a job when I'm curled on the bed with terrible stomach pain from anxiety? This is where the antidepressants could come in. PLEASE, please someone advise me soon. It's like a living nightmare right now but my faith in the Lord is strong. Love to all of you, Joan

NancyB 06-09-2010 10:48 AM

Hi Joan, I'm so sorry to hear of what you're going through. You can absolutely take anti-depressants while taking Suboxone. I'm so glad that you're going to see a doctor and get counseling. That will help you so much. And please, we're here to support you too.

You can look for a job while taking Suboxone. It will NOT show up on a regular drug screen and you don't have to divulge any information on any medications you are taking. An employer would have to specifically test for Suboxone and that's expensive, so they don't.

Please take care of yourself. Get to the doctor, get to a therapist. You will get through this. Don't let him drag you down.

Keep posting, even if it's to vent, ok? Don't bottle things inside.


theswan 06-09-2010 02:26 PM


I am on antidepressant therapy and there is no problem. Sorry to hear of your troubles. Take care of YOU and the troubles will seem to fade away.

I am in AA but part of me could qualify for alanon or the like as I can be co-dependant. We must ask what we get out of losing ourselves in someone else?

The answer for me is I can forget looking at me as I put all my hopes, anger, joy and disappointment on another. this is common and if you feel any bit like this then there is a possibility one needs to work on this.

Please do not feel judged, it is just that co-dependancy can be so common in us who end up dependant on "stuff"

God bless


jekmimi 06-19-2010 09:59 PM

Thank so much, Glen and Nancy; your words have been very, very comforting to me. Believe it or not, my daughter (whom I thought would obviously side with her father) became very angry, sat us both down and declared that she "would NOT have split up parents" and really talked to both me and my husband like (as they say) a "Dutch Uncle"! She forced a lot of things into the open (tho she does not understand why I am on Suboxone, or why I got hooked on drugs in the first place). My husband admitted that he uses bullying when he gets mad b/c he knows I'm afraid of him. I told him that I am no longer going to live in fear; I can and will live on my own, if push comes to shove---and I will not be pushed ANY MORE! Husband did agree to see a counsellor with me (again, at our daughter's insistance); however, I have a feeling that I will be the only one going, but that's OK. I haven't felt this strong in a long time. My MD gave me Lexapro (1/2 a pill) but it's too strong, plus, I really suffer from anxiety, so am thinking I may need Effexor instead of Lexapro.

That was VERY interesting about Sub not showing up on drug screening. Does this mean that I don't have to report that I am on it, should I go for a job?? Please let me know. Also, has anyone been on Effexor and Suboxone? I'd like to know this, too.

Thanks to both of you and to anyone to took the time to read my problem. I know I am not alone in this fight---and I will not give up. I haven't felt this good in a long time, praise God!! Thank you all and Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there!


lisa226969 06-19-2010 10:38 PM

Hi Joan- You are MOST definately NOT in the fight alone. You have ALL the wonderful people here on this forum, and in ALL honesty, you couldn't find a better group of people to help you thru this difficult time.

I am SO sorry that you are having to go thru this right now. Make sure you read all the info that Nancy sends as well, she has TONS, and TONS of VERY helpful info. You do NOT have to divulge to ANY potential employer that you are on Subs. It is NONE of their business, and it won't interfere with your performance. Kind of look at it like taking a vitamin every take it each day to help you stay healthy. Everyone here cares about you, and you are in my prayers. Take care......Lisa

NancyB 06-20-2010 08:40 AM

Hi Joan, I'm glad you stood your ground with your husband. And if you're the only one who goes to counseling, that's really ok. It will be good to have an unbiased 3rd party to talk with.

As Lisa said, you do not have to tell anyone, including potential employers, what medications you take. Would you tell them you're taking cholesterol medication? Think of it that way. Your medical treatment is none of their business.

I'm glad you're feeling good, keep us posted on how you're doing.


lonney 06-21-2010 11:52 PM

hey jekmimi,

I think you're going through a hell of alot right now. I've read about people on here taking anti-depressants with their sub. You should be ok with taking it.

It's too bad you're husband is like that. If he's not willing to try counseling, then you're really left with no other option but to leave. (Unless you're happy living like this?)

I just wish he understood how much you're dealing with, just being on sub alone. There's alot of good stomach medicine to take. Talk to your doctor about that because you should really take care of that as well.

I hope you feel better.

Jamesisdone 06-22-2010 09:19 PM

I was on Effexor xr 150mgs and Sub at the same time and had no problems at all. Hope this helps :)

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