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sad mother 04-18-2016 02:58 PM

New to this
Hi, I am just accepting the fact that my daughter has an alcohol problem. I can't find any Alanon programs in my area. I don't know where to start, I feel like a bad parent. At this point, we have kicked her out of our home. Now, I don't know what to do. I am sad that it had to come to this.

About a month ago, we kicked her out, and let her come back after 2 weeks, stating that she couldn't drink here. I now know that I shouldn't have let her come back.

I just don't know what to do now.

R. Lee 04-19-2016 10:23 AM

sad mother, Welcome to the site.

I am a recovering alcoholic. I could not get sober until I wanted to. You sound like you have some knowledge on how to deal with your daughter's drinking problem. You will only make the situation worse by enabling her. Tough love & then support for her if she chooses to change.

Good luck.

Sam Bailey 04-19-2016 12:06 PM

Hello Sad Mother,

That you have finally accepted this sad fact, that your daughter has an alcohol problem, and likely a serious problem at that, well, that's a good and necessary step for your daughter---and, especially, for you.

The truth is, we can never help the alcoholic in our lives until we first admit that she/he has a problem. Believe me, it is SO easy to live in denial, I know this first hand.

My son is closing in on 2 years clean and sober. But it took a lot of time, and lots of hard work on his part, to leave that dark world of booze and drugs. And even now, it really is a one day at a time deal. Yet it can be done. Lots of people, my son for one--and possibly your daughter---can find their way OUT of that darkness.

Yet it is 100% true, SHE must want it, the sober life, before she stands a chance in hades of living free.

Please, look again for an Alanon Meeting in your area. It's worth anther look. But if you can't find that Meeting, go to an Open AA Meeting. In the Meetings I attend, there are almost always a couple/few non-alcoholics there, loved ones of the alcoholic all.

You will be accepted there. Talk to people. Tell them your story. What you'll find, yes, even in an AA Meeting, are people who KNOW your story, people who have lived, or are living, your experience.

And these people can not only help you with good, non judgmental advice, they can point you to the next best step, based on what you and your daughter's needs are.

Don't wait, Sad Mother. Go to a Meeting soon. Go tonight. Don't wait. It will be the best thing you can do to help your precious daughter find her way out of the insanity.

It really is your best next step.


sam b

Tryntryagain 04-19-2016 08:39 PM

Good evening, nope, i will not call you that. Bright blessings to you.

I am from dear ole Blighty. I can not believe your screen name.

How did you find this family? By being a bad parent? You are fantastic from the ground up.

Come on ....seriously.

I have a few kids, i am an alcoholic, thankfully a sober and graciously wondrous one!

Gosh...dear, i am not going to call you "Sad" i don't even want to finish's not on.

So, issues go on. Kids going off left right and centre. Drugs...n...alcohol. What do you do?

You stop being a "sad" Mother. You are a brilliant Mother....****s are here.

I am so with Sam. Please find a meeting for you.

If not tonight tomorrow eh?

Hands to you from across the pond.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to what your name is. I know you in my heart.

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