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Chloe69 08-05-2015 04:47 PM

Driving drunk
My dear girlfriend goes to alanon to deal with her husbands problem. I'm not sure what to say to her. I'll keep it simple.

She said that alanon tells her it's not her problem when he is drunk... Ok that I will buy. But she just told me he's drunk and took the car to go's 3:00. Children are out, people are out.
She told me alanon says it's not her problem... But I feel it is when he kills someone. Is this true or is she in some denial?? I want to help her. But I would do something. His problem may not be her problem but it's becoming my problem. She will have to pick him up at the jail etc etcetera...why is she told to stay out of it..

Thank you for helping me.

lostdog 08-05-2015 07:47 PM

he can be arrested. call the police. If he is out driving and she knows it, I think she is enabling him. She needs to leave him if he is so wild like that.

R. Lee 08-07-2015 10:31 AM

Chloe, Welcome to the site. I speak as a recovering alcoholic. She should call the police on him driving drunk. She should not feel guilty about his drinking.

Lifewithoutalcoholic 10-25-2015 03:39 PM

Chloe I know how you feel. My ex husband would do this constantly I would drive him home from all functions, hide keys from him, yell, beg and scream because I would worry about this all of the time. I finally divorced him and afterwards he was arrested two more times for DUI .. I wouldn't remarry him due to this same issue as he began to drink again and I was always worried he would drink and drive and hurt or kill someone. I couldn't live with that. He said he would never stop drinking and that his problem was drinking and driving.. Not drinking. Which is just denial. He may be able to not drink and drive for awhile, as he is getting his interlock device removed from his car soon. But I suspect his enormous ego and his alcoholic mindset will soon again have him drinking and driving as he seems to think he isn't drunk when God knows he is. He thinks he can beat the odds and that he drives cautiously when drinking, which again, is a fallacy. I couldn't remarry him with this on my mind and didn't want to play these games with him anymore. One day I fully expect to hear that he has been arrested again. I just hope he doesn't hurt or kill any innocent person. If he wants to do this to himself so be it , but I was never going to be connected to a person that knowingly does this. I'm sure your friend thinks about this all of the time. I just hope she doesn't lose everything due to her husbands irresponsibility.....and that she doesn't have to live with the pain her husband may inflict upon an innocent person.

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