Addiction Survivors Peer-Support Forum

Addiction Survivors Peer-Support Forum (
-   Friends & Family (
-   -   finally breaking up I hope (

sherrylmd 05-13-2015 01:58 PM

finally breaking up I hope
I can't believe I haven't been here in 2 years, and nothing has changed with my alcoholic guy. He did decide a few months ago to get his own place an hour away, so he could be closer to his power wash clients who use him to clean their homes. He only likes work that gets him fast big cash. In our 8 years together I have bought him pumps for his machine; a whole new power washer; parts for his car; rental cars, etc. He always promises to repay me and then never does.

I was visiting him yesterday where he rents a room. He was drinking a vodka mixed drink earlier than ever (around noon) and we went out; he kept drinking all day. We went to eat at 5pm and I let him drive us back like a fool; he went up on a curve; blew his tire; kept driving on it and ruined his rim. He then was loud and critical to his female roommate; the home owner then gave him an eviction notice. When I told him he could not come back to my home to live he got very nasty with me. Guess he will end up in a veteran's shelter where he won't be allowed to drink-3rd time since we met.

I am very sad and will HATE being alone, but don't want to get sucked in to taking him back. I just turned 60 though and feel as if I have wasted so many years hoping he would get help and change and it never happens. I need to be strong this time.

R. Lee 05-14-2015 10:21 AM

sherrylmd, Stay strong & if you do not have to be around him let Ron go. You do not have to live like this.

Ron's behavior is typical of an alcoholic.

Good luck

Saint 05-14-2015 10:30 AM

No you don't have to live like that. Nothing will improve until he seeks help, until he wants to get well. Think of your well being. There are worse things than being alone.


1418 05-20-2015 06:53 PM

Hi Sherryl,

In a way, I think you have been alone in your current relationship. I agree, breaking up will be painful at first. You will need to be VERY kind to yourself. Treat yourself as your own best friend. Talk nicely to yourself, give yourself nice "treats" - like take a bath instead of a shower... wash your robe in some really good smelling fabric softner and then cuddle up and watch a hilarious movie.... You can do this.

Eventually, the hurt will begin to fade and you will be okay on your own. In fact, you will be better than okay, and you will realize that you are now in a place where you are ready to be in a realtionship WITH somebody - instead of being in a relationship alone.

You've got this! Don't let your mind be mean. Don't let it look ahead. I don't know why our minds do that - but man - talk about mean girls... how about mean minds?


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:17 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
© 2014 Addiction Survivors