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kira 09-02-2007 01:24 AM

Hello
 
This is the first time I have really come out.But i do have aproblem & know i need help I drink a 12 pack of beer a night.i am gaining weight.My husband state if I don't stop he'll leave me.I want to stop but he always puts me down & says you have tried before & it didn't work "YOU" need help.I dont feel very important in any of my children life I have 2 girls 1 is 18 yrs old & the other is w/ this marriage & she is 11yrs old.He says to me you look awfull & i'm not attracted to you,I was @ one time attractive i don't no now I feel very ugly I Need HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kira 09-02-2007 01:31 AM

hello

raymie 09-02-2007 12:49 PM

That's too bad your husband is being a jerk. I started camprel Friday, but I did drink yesterday. Maybe you have more willpower than I do. Or maybe I should not have gone to the party.

Someone else can probably help you better than I can. Maybe Stacey is at a party.

-r

Stacey 09-02-2007 02:43 PM

Hi Kira and I'm glad you found this site.

Have you ever had alcohol treatment before? (or any treatment for that matter) Do you have the ability to get therapy, etc??

Alcohol is a depressant, as i'm sure you know, and can cause some of the feelings you are having about yourself. While some may be true at this time, they can be changed if you can learn to not drink. Learning not to drink means both physically and mentally/emotinally. Some people drink to self medicate--to hide from what they are feeling--to numb. Do you recognize this in yourself?

It's very difficult to be the partner of someone who drinks. The hurt and frustration comes out often in hurtful ways. Maybe your husband is trying to do a 'tough love' technique with you? There is a section here that helps the friends/family--do you think you could get him to read some of it? It's important to have an understanding of this disease so everyone is ready and equiped when you do decide to tackle it.

So let me know a little more about your situation. There is lots of help out there and hope we can steer you in a direction. Do you have insurance?

Hope to talk with you soon and please know there are many ways out.

Stacey

kira 09-03-2007 07:03 PM

Quote:

quote:Originally posted by Stacey

Hi Kira and I'm glad you found this site.

Have you ever had alcohol treatment before? (or any treatment for that matter) Do you have the ability to get therapy, etc??

Alcohol is a depressant, as i'm sure you know, and can cause some of the feelings you are having about yourself. While some may be true at this time, they can be changed if you can learn to not drink. Learning not to drink means both physically and mentally/emotinally. Some people drink to self medicate--to hide from what they are feeling--to numb. Do you recognize this in yourself?

It's very difficult to be the partner of someone who drinks. The hurt and frustration comes out often in hurtful ways. Maybe your husband is trying to do a 'tough love' technique with you? There is a section here that helps the friends/family--do you think you could get him to read some of it? It's important to have an understanding of this disease so everyone is ready and equiped when you do decide to tackle it.

So let me know a little more about your situation. There is lots of help out there and hope we can steer you in a direction. Do you have insurance?

Hope to talk with you soon and please know there are many ways out.

Stacey

kira 09-03-2007 07:09 PM

I have drank for over 7 yrs my husband says I am a very addictive person .I have stopped drinking for 2 days.I now drink more d. pepsi an I'm eating ice cream @ night which my husbands says now I'll just gain weight now.I have tried to stop before sometimes its easier to deal w/ life by feeling numb!!!I feel everyone is a gainst me now if I go to bed early my kids say I passed out!!Yes i do have ins.I feel no one has any positive things to say about me help

Stacey 09-04-2007 03:59 PM

Kira

I'm so sorry you are feeling so down. My first thoughts on this are to talk with your family. Tell them what you are trying to accomplish and explain that you need help and need them to be more positive with you. Rebuilding their trust takes time and perhpas if you express this to them they will be there for you in a more positive manner. You really need to get in to talk to a therpaist or psychiatirst. Maybe you have some underlying depression that needs to be addressed. These things go together many times--addictions and depression.

How are you doing with your drinking? It's common to crave sweets but it's a better alternative to alcohol at this point. Keep your chin up and keep pushing towards the goal of not drinking. Call to see a therapist/psychchiatrist as soon as you can. This is vital to your improvement. Keep talking here, too. You will get through this.

Stacey

kira 09-04-2007 08:53 PM

I am still not drinking.Can you suggest how i go about finding a good therpaist.I don't want to leave home though.

Stacey 09-04-2007 09:04 PM

Kira

One of the best ways to find a therapist is word of mouth. Another is to call your insurance company and get a list of providers. I don't know what area you live in, but in my area (FL) sometimes it's hard to get a quick appointment. Not all therapists provide medication so that's important to find out. A psychiatrist can prescribe medication, so ask about that.

When you say you don't want to leave home, do you mean that you don't want to go to in-patient treatment? Or just want to see someone in your vicinity?

You are doing a great job so far. Were you able to talk with your family at all? Three days without alcohol is such an accomplishment. How are you feeling? Are you sleeping at all?

Stacey

Stacey 09-07-2007 01:55 PM

Hi Kira

How have the last few days been for you? Any luck finding a therapist?

Stacey

CASEY 09-23-2007 01:15 AM

Hi Kira,

First of all you are a beatiful person, don't let your husband ABUSE you like that. It seem's to me you are damned it you do or damned if you don't in his eye's.
I know first hand the type, my sister's husband is the same way, that is why I refuse to be around him, he is a TOXIC PERSON!!! As is your HUSBAND!
Your husband is a very insecure person the way he put' you down, please get help as soon as possible, don't let your children see anymore of the way your husband treat's you.
Finding a Therapist is easy , look in the Phone Book and try someone, if you don't like them LEAVE! You have no obligation to stay.
Start taking care of you and DON'T let your husband treat you like this anymore.
When you do find a good Therapist and start to feel good about yourself and find you don't neen alcohol or anything else to feel numb, your husband will try to sabatoge you, believe me he prefer's to make you the problem , when inside he is so insecure that when you start to like yourself you are going to scare the hell out of him and he will try to destroy it , don't let him.
You use alcohol and food as a way to feel numb, how about you get help , and when you do you will see your husband in a whole new light.
Belive he will not like the change he can't blame you anymore, but please stop his abuse of you and your abuse of yourself before your children see this as NORMAL!! And it is not.Your husband is verbally abusing you and sometime's that is worse than hitting(both are very wrong) but word's stay in our head's and we start to believe what the abuser is saying . DON'T!!!!
Good Luck, you can do it!
Casey

I wish you the best of luck.

SLynn 10-08-2007 04:29 PM

Hi Kira

Hoping you stop in and and let me know how you are doing.

Stacey

CASEY 10-12-2007 10:11 PM

Hi Kira,
We have not heard from you in awhile, hope everything is going O.K.
Casey


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