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iamtrying 12-22-2014 01:14 PM


I am trying to quit, but unable to..I am 40+ and been drinking for about 10 yrs on and off...I always thought I was smart and can manage just with beers, soon it gets worse, go to hard drinks and everything falls apart. I feel stupid in the morning, my hangovers are worse. Everyday morning i wake up and tell myself i am not going to drink, as evening approaches my cravings are bad and i cave in...this has been pretty much the cycle. I need help to quit, what is the best approach to stop cravings ? i need to get back control of myself...

Any help is appreciated...


lostdog 12-22-2014 03:27 PM

Iamtrying it is hard to do at first, but you want to quit for a reason. As R. Lee says- thing through that first drink. Imagine you will take the first drink, but you know you won't just have one, you will desire more and then beat yourself up the next morning or do something you regret. If you think it through, it will make you not drink. When you get to your witching hours - the time you want to drink, you have to create habits other than drinking- walking, eating, watching TV. Just don't ever drink. Take it day by day.Say I pledge not to drink today. You will be down some days, but just don't drink. Come here everyday if you need to, seek outside help if you can. We have a lovely group here and can support you each and everyday. Much support and hugs to you at this time. You are not alone.

iamtrying 12-22-2014 04:42 PM

Thank you lostdog, that is helpful...can u pls share what kind of things you do to beat the witching hours ? only if you wish to share...

lostdog 12-22-2014 05:20 PM

sure, at first I went and watched my most favorite TV shows, then I would get online for support. The cravings were intense so if I quickly ate something when I got home from work, mine would go away. Can't be real full and drink and then feel the alcohol unless you drink a lot. Hope that helps, others will post too

R. Lee 12-22-2014 06:13 PM

iamtrying, Welcome to the site. I could not stop on my own so I drank 42 years.

I was only able to stop with the support of a group of recovering alcoholics. I stay in today meaning I don't worry about staying sober for the rest of my life. I commit myself to stay sober for 24 yours. If that works I start over & do it again.

Give it a chance. See how it works for you. Think through that next drink.

Good luck & keep us posted.

gmasusie 12-22-2014 07:06 PM

I got a good murder mystery and immersed myself for the first day to get me through that first evening.

My friend who works in ER says be very careful not to detox alone. Have someone around who knows what you're doing, so they can rush you to ER if you have severe withdrawal.

Keep writing to us. Good luck! Susie

Saint 12-22-2014 10:07 PM

I replaced beer cans with diet coke cans for many months when first sober. I did go through quite a few cans per week. Probably as many as I would if they were beer. Excercising, walking, anything to change the normal routine can be extremely helpful. Come here, read through the threads, read books about addiction, learn about your disease but most importantly do not give up on yourself. You matter and we will help as best we can. There are many paths to sobriety but you have taken a big step just by coming here and admitting you are powerless over alcohol, as all here are. I lived as you for most of my adult life. We are all so familiar with what you are experiencing.



iamtrying 12-22-2014 10:22 PM

Thanks for all the encouragement and support , I will keep posting here as I make progress. Today I had early dinner and went out for a ride ...feeling little anxious, but i didn't drink...hope i will beat it, I am going to watch something on TV...
Thank you very very much....

Saint 12-23-2014 11:10 AM

Just don't drink. It is poison for us.


gmasusie 12-23-2014 11:28 AM

Keep writing. Keep talking to us. We are all rooting for you!.


R. Lee 12-23-2014 11:30 AM

iamtrying, Just don't drink. Read other posts here. You can do this. You are worth it.

iamtrying 12-23-2014 03:08 PM

I got passed without drinking yesterday with no problem. I think key was for me to eat early and keep mind out of drink...I woke up happy with no guilt or hangover...felt good. First thing that came to my mind was -- I am responsible for my actions and consequences that follow those actions...
Well, this is journey and this is only first day (I had quit for 30 days in June-July, but circumstances, friends dragged right back in..I don't blame them, they know when to stop and I don't..)...I want to keep the goal -- to start with 90 days. God please give me strength to do this. And again, following the advice..One day at a time..

I appreciate all the support from the best people here...

Have a wonderful day!

nan 12-23-2014 03:18 PM

Good for you iamtrying! Yup, one day at a time with determination and support. Have you ever gone to AA meetings or any other support groups? It is hard to do alone-helps to be accountable also. Keep posting !


iamtrying 12-23-2014 07:45 PM

Hi Nan,

I have never been to AA meeting, and I tried looking up here, got confused with open group and closed group meetings, moreover, my mind had lot of what-if questions, such as what if I see someone I know,what-if that person happens to be my colleague etc...I would like to have a sponsor, but not sure how to get this point I only have this group...any advice is appreciated.


R. Lee 12-23-2014 08:39 PM

iamtrying, A closed meeting is for only alcoholics that have a desire to stop drinking. An open meeting is for alcoholics & like family of recovering alcoholics.

I have never had a problem with someone breaking my anonymity at a meeting. If you go to a closed meeting it is only alcoholics. I would recommend a closed meeting. You can find a sponsor at a meeting & phone numbers of other recovering alcoholics.

Tryntryagain 12-24-2014 09:35 AM

Good afternoon I am trying. Bright blessings to you.

It is so lovely to have new family members. Well done you for thinking change is a way forward for you.

If you keep sharing, you will end up caring.

Tell us a bit more of yourself when you feel ready. I found that i had to tell the things about myself i didnt want anyone to know to become sober.

You know those weaknesses we all have?....i thought they were huge!!!...when i talked and shared about my fears, i realised that i could manage them. A day at a time my friend.

Be peaceful, be healthy and be strong. Loveness to you I am trying.

iamtrying 12-24-2014 12:31 PM

Thank you R.Lee I will try to find more details on meetings.
Thank you TryandTryagain - I will share more details soon.

Last night had no drinks - feeling good. - Day-2
and I remember -- one day at a time and -- I am responsible for my actions and their consequences.

Have a bright and wonderful day!

Tryntryagain 12-24-2014 12:40 PM

Good evening I am Trying. Bright blessings to you.

Happy Christmas to you. Together we can make it a sober one.

Loveness to you.

gmasusie 12-24-2014 12:52 PM

I keep a list of all the ways alcohol has negatively affected my life. When I feel an urge, I take the list out and read it. Some people pray, some meditate, some call a friend or sponsor. This site is a life saver for many.

Welcome and have a sober and happy holiday.

Best wishes, Susie

iamtrying 12-24-2014 03:48 PM

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all of you wonderful people...

Thanks Tryn and Susie.

Staying sober and peaceful...

Saint 12-25-2014 12:01 AM

Merry Christmas I am trying. Sobriety is it's own reward. Thank you for believing in yourself.


iamtrying 12-25-2014 02:03 PM

Thanks Saint.

Day-3 no drinks, feeling good.
again remembering one day at a time and I am responsible for my actions and their consequences...

Have a great day.

lostdog 12-25-2014 02:27 PM

Merry Christmas!

R. Lee 12-25-2014 04:11 PM

Way to go iamtrying!! 1 day at a time & think through that 1st drink.

iamtrying 12-25-2014 04:33 PM

Merry Christmas Lostdog, Thanks RLee.

gmasusie 12-25-2014 05:44 PM

Merry Christmas, Iamtrying! Way to go! Keep it up!


Saint 12-26-2014 01:01 AM

Great attitude and great work!! I can't tell you how many times I gave up on myself when I was drinking.

Merry Christmas! !


iamtrying 12-26-2014 12:02 PM

Good morning,

Thanks Saint.

Day-4 went by no drinking, no problem. Again - remembering one day at a time and i am responsible for my actions and their consequences...
Hope nobody minds me repeating above every time I post...I kind of assure myself and take responsibility...

Have a great day all!

jenm 12-26-2014 02:05 PM

Hi iamtrying!

Welcome. I am super proud of you for Day 4 without alcohol. That is a big deal. Stay in today and don't let that nasty 'inner voice' talk you into drinking. Continued use of alcohol for the alcoholic NEVER produces a good result. I've been around for awhile and have seen, heard, read, and experienced more than enough. Take care and JUST DON'T DRINK TODAY. Tomorrow try it again. Just for today though, do not drink. You got this! Take care, Jenm

R. Lee 12-26-2014 05:41 PM

imtrying, Great job on 4 days sober. Keep it simple. One day at a time.

Saint 12-26-2014 09:16 PM

Nobody minds you repeating yourself, I am sure. Do what you need to do to stay sober. One day at a time and think through that first drink. Make sobriety the most important thing in your life and continue to work towards that goal. We move towards and become that which we think about. Think sobriety!!


gmasusie 12-26-2014 11:20 PM

We're all rooting for you!


jenm 12-27-2014 11:58 AM

Please let us know how you are doing, iamtrying! Good or bad, trust me, we have all been there. Jenm

iamtrying 12-27-2014 01:30 PM

Good morning..

Thanks Jenm, Susie, Saint, RLee and all..

Day 5 no drinks...i am feeling good...In fact yesterday night i had little craving but I immediately ate food and drank lots of water...that helped...only thing is I feel I have been watching TV little too much every day night atleast 1 movie or keeps me off the drinking and I am doing this in place where i used to drink and pass out...and now it feels good that i actually remember next day what i watched on TV last night :)..

The other thing i have to mention...whenever it snowed, before cleaning the snow i used to drink enough to feel the buzz and then plow snow on driveway...i had this relation with snow and alcohol...which i broke today, It snowed yesterday night and I just finished plowing snowing and I had 2 cups of hot tea...felt good.

again remembering - one day at a time and i am responsible for my actions and their consequences...

thank you all for support...

on side note-- as i wrote this post...tears rolled out of eyes...thank u all

R. Lee 12-27-2014 03:18 PM

iamtrying, Glad you thought through that 1st drink.

Plowing the snow & drinking. It is funny when we stop how we relate things we used to do & drink.

Stay strong. You never have to go back to where you were.

Saint 12-27-2014 04:33 PM

I used to mow the lawn with a beer strategically placed. Empty the clippings, drink beer and so it went.
You are changing your life. Change can make one feel uncomfortable, out of sorts with our 'normal 'routines. Do what you need to do to stay sober and don't feel guilty about time spent sober ; ) . This time is for you. Be kind to yourself.


gmasusie 12-27-2014 08:14 PM


Don't feel guilty about anything that helps you keep away from alcohol.

Life isn't perfect, but without alcohol, those will be tears of joy, not sorrow.


Tryntryagain 12-28-2014 09:31 AM

Good afternoon I Am Trying. Bright blessings to you.

I just want to add to Susie saying don't feel guilty what keeps you away from alcohol. I have an experience from another who had a family that adored him. He had many responsibiltys he was unable to achieve because of the nagging of alcohol. He tried, superficially, many things, still nothing changed.

The chap up sticks, got his tent and spent a month under a tree. It worked, he is with his adoring family, and a day at a time enjoys his sobriety.

There is no right or wrong way to become and stay sober. The desire to, and honest understanding why something that comes in time, a lifetime. 1 day at a time, "bitesized chunks" if you like and progress will become you.

When i remember my last drink i remember saying to myself, "i would do anything to stop", and so i had to do. Anything.

If some telly gives you space to be sober, then so be it. The alternative is an option, but not a wise one. If you feel guilty about watching a bit too much telly at this time, just think what else you would be doing. Then snuggle up and enjoy your film!

Be peaceful, be healthy and keep being strong. You are doing so well. Loveness to you I Am Trying.

iamtrying 12-28-2014 11:56 AM

Good morning,

Thanks RLee, Saint, Susie and Tryn..appreciate the kind words and encouragement..

Day 6 over no drinks feeling good...again, one day at a time and I am responsible for my actions and their consequences...

One thing that bothers me is New year eve and holidays...will have friends and drinks around..I don't want to drink...any suggestions how i can be there but not drink....But I am going to stay strong and say no ...

Have a great day...thank you all...

lostdog 12-28-2014 04:09 PM

If you decide to attend, you will have to get a non-alcoholic drink of your choice. I get water or a fancy juice drink. At first with people who are just social friends and not real ones, ask why I'm not drinking. You may have to hang with different people because you will have true friends then. Whatever, don't let drinking make the decision for your friends. It may be hard to attend that event and you need a plan if you go so you will not drink.

R. Lee 12-28-2014 04:33 PM

iamtrying, It comes to people, places & things. I avoid drinking situations as much as possible. If you do attend something where drinking is involved have an escape plan. Drive yourself. If you feel uneasy leave. I was told if you hang around a barber shop long enough you will get a haircut.

Tryntryagain 12-29-2014 11:36 AM

Good afternoon I Am Trying. Bright blessings to you.

I think it is worth recognising your awareness around "dodgy situations". You have won half the battle. It takes others a long time to have the awareness that you have with alcohol. It is your strongest suit. I am so proud that is the path you are on.

Not easy at this time of year, especially day 6. From all your posts you come across as a sensitive fellow. Use that to your advantage. It is a strength, don't shy away from your feelings. Share them if you can. It is not easy, but so very worth it.

Re upcoming events, new years eve and whatnot, how i cope when there is alcohol all around is by being proud of my choice, remembering my last drink and thinking through the first drink, in time, that process happens in the blink of an eye, and sobriety can go out and enjoy itself. What should you drink? I find that whilst amoungst those that drink, a clear glass of water in my hand gives the necesarry message to those that care.

You are doing so very well.

Be peaceful, keep sharing and keep focused on you at this time. Loveness to you I Am Trying.

iamtrying 12-29-2014 12:08 PM

Good morning!

Thanks Tyrn, lostdog and RLee...appreciate the suggestions...

Day 7 no drinks, feeling good...

I have decided i will stick with ice tea and eat lots of good food for new year...i will keep posted here, how it goes...

Again, remembering, one day at a time, and I am responsible for my actions and their consequences...

Not trying to live in my memory because that's only past, I am trying to live in my imagination because that will be my future, and I want to live the life I have imagined..

Have a wonderful bright day...and Thank you all...

R. Lee 12-29-2014 03:58 PM

iamtrying, Keep up your attitude & simple message & you will do fine.

jenm 12-29-2014 09:46 PM

Hi iamtrying!

I think it is wonderful that you have gone 7 days without a drink. That's great!!! I agree with R Lee. Have an escape plan for New Year's. If you feel tempted, leave. It is not worth it and play the tape all the way through where one drink will take you. It is the first drink that will take you back to the misery, and I pray that no one has to go there! Take care, Jenm

iamtrying 12-30-2014 05:24 PM

Good afternoon,

Thank you Jenm and RLee and all others...

Day 8 no drinks feeling good....

Again, remembering one day at a time, and I am responsible for my actions and their consequences...

I am prepared to handle new year eve ..sober and safe one!

Thank u for all the motivation and help...

have a great day!

R. Lee 12-30-2014 08:22 PM

iamtrying, If you get the urge to drink think through that urge. You have a great mindset.

Tryntryagain 12-31-2014 11:30 AM

Good afternoon I Am Trying. Bright blessings to you.

I just wanted to pop in and offer you some strength my friend. There is this fellow, oh thats right he's called R lee, he has got this really annoying habit. He keeps saying, "think through the first drink" is the best tune to get stuck in your head!

Think through the first drink.

Happy new year.

Loveness and strength to you I Am Trying.

Saint 12-31-2014 12:02 PM

Congrats on 8 days sober! As far as New year's celebration ' s ..... stay vigilant. The urge to drink can come out of nowhere and be overwhelming strong. Be prepared and leave the situation if it threatens your sobriety. I would advise against attending anything that would threaten your sobriety so early on. At a minimum having a friend in your corner that is aware of your situation would be a huge asset to you.

Stay strong,

iamtrying 12-31-2014 12:43 PM

Good morning,

RLee, Tryn and Saint - thank you for the advice..i appreciate...

Day 9 no drinks and feeling good...

I am so glad that I found all of you here in 2014, given me great support...this is my new year gift :)....thank you all so much...

I am going to stay strong and not drink on new year eve...

again, remembering, one day at a time and i am responsible for my actions and their consequences..also, think thru that first drink...

There are two days that are important in life, one when you were born and other when you will know why...

have a great day and happy new year.... safe and sober

Thank you all...

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